When I


                    
                    
                

                

                

            

        
    







            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    

                        


	

	
    
        

            

                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

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        Buy
        

            
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Buy

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

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        Try
        

            
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        I Try
        

            
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When I Was

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

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    When I: When I was 7 
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                When I: When I was 7 
                
            

            
            
When I was 7 

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    When I: When I was a young boy…
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                When I: When I was a young boy…
                
            

            
            
When I was a young boy…

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    When I: Throwback to when I curved this guy and it accidentally got very popular online
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                When I: Throwback to when I curved this guy and it accidentally got very popular online
                
            

            
            
Throwback to when I curved this guy and it accidentally got very popular online

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    When I: clover11-10:

breezeinmonochromenight:

star-linedsoul:

razzleberryjam:

ironwoman359:

chaos-in-the-making:

smugkoalas:


allthefandomss:

that-catholic-shinobi:

gahdamnpunk:
American Girl stories were the best tbh

Dude, read the books, she and her mom freed themselves in Book 1. We don’t disrespect American Girl in this house 


Don’t you dare disrespect Addy, or any of my girls for that matter. American Girl used to be legit. Good stories, good dolls, good movies. 


Felicity’s story was set in the beginnings of the American Revolution, and addressed the conflict that she faced when her loved ones were split between patriots and loyalists. It also covered the effects of animal abuse, and forgiving those who are unforgivable. 
Samantha’s stories centered around the growth of industrial America, women’s suffrage, child abuse, and corruption in places of power. Also, it emphasises how dramatically adoption into a caring family can turn a life around. 
Kit’s story is one of my favorites. Her family is hit hard by the Great Depression, and they begin taking in boarders and raise chickens to help make ends meet. Her books include themes of poverty, police brutality, homelessness, prejudice, and the importance of unity in difficult times. 
Molly’s father, a doctor, is drafted during the Second World War. Throughout her story, friends of hers suffer the loss of their husbands, sons, and brothers overseas. Her mother leaves the traditional housewife position and works full-time to help with the war effort. They also take in an English refugee child, who learns to open up after a life of traumatic experience. 
American Girl stories have always featured the very harsh realities of America through the years. But they’re always presented honestly, yet in ways that kids can understand. They just go to show that you don’t have to live in a perfect time to be a real American girl. 


Dont you fucking dare disrespect the American Girls in my house. ESPECIALLY Addy!! That was my first REAL contact with the horrors of slavery, as I read about her father being whipped and sold and her mother escaping with her to freedom, but also how freedom was still a struggle.
A slave doll. Please. Read the books. 

Don’t forget Kirsten, the Swedish immigrant who had to deal with balancing her own culture and learning the english language and customs of her classmates, or Kaya (full name 

Kaya'aton'my, or She Who Arranges Rocks) , the brave but careless girl from the Nez Perce tribe, or Josefina, the Mexican girl learning to be a healer.
And then there are the later dolls, that kids younger than me would have grown up with (I was just outgrowing American Girl as these came out), like Rebecca, the Jewish girl who dreams of becoming an actress in the budding film industry, or 

Julie, who fights against her school’s gender policy surrounding sports in the 70s, or 

Nanea, the Hawaiian girl whose father worked at Pearl Harbor.
These books, these characters, are fantastic pictures into life for girls in America throughout the years, they pull no punches with the horrors that these girls had to face in their different time periods, and in many cases I learned more history from these series than social studies at school. And that’s without even mentioning the “girl of the year” series where characters are created in the modern world to help girls deal with issues like friend problems, moving, or bullying. We do NOT disrespect American Girl in this house.


American Girl is probably going to be the only exposure young girls are going to get to history from a female perspective. This is actually kind of important considering that in history classes we dont really get that exposure. We dont hear about what women felt and endured during these time periods cause schools are too busy teaching us about what happened from the male perspective, which is not unimportant, but we need both. Girls need both.



These books were such a crucial part of my childhood and shaped my love of history, which still ensures today. These books can be a young girl’s first  lessons in diversity and cultural awareness (hopefully burying that insensitive “we’re all Americans” tripe) and looking at history from more perspectives than just that taught in school. They also are an example of how women have ALWAYS been part of history, which some people would rather us not believe.
I think Kit and Kaya were the newest American Girls when I started “aging out” of the books, but hearing about some of these kinda makes me want to revisit them!

I wasn’t gonna say anything, but you know what? 
Nah.
OP (of the tweet thread) was either a actively trying to start shit or is just a huge fucking moron. Probably both.
I’d like to point out that the company that makes American Girl dolls actually doesn’t skimp when doing their research and they don’t make the dolls with the intent to be offensive in any way:





I loved American Girl growing up they’re great role models and history lessons so yeah let’s not cancel this for ignorant reasons 

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                When I: clover11-10:

breezeinmonochromenight:

star-linedsoul:

razzleberryjam:

ironwoman359:

chaos-in-the-making:

smugkoalas:


allthefandomss:

that-catholic-shinobi:

gahdamnpunk:
American Girl stories were the best tbh

Dude, read the books, she and her mom freed themselves in Book 1. We don’t disrespect American Girl in this house 


Don’t you dare disrespect Addy, or any of my girls for that matter. American Girl used to be legit. Good stories, good dolls, good movies. 


Felicity’s story was set in the beginnings of the American Revolution, and addressed the conflict that she faced when her loved ones were split between patriots and loyalists. It also covered the effects of animal abuse, and forgiving those who are unforgivable. 
Samantha’s stories centered around the growth of industrial America, women’s suffrage, child abuse, and corruption in places of power. Also, it emphasises how dramatically adoption into a caring family can turn a life around. 
Kit’s story is one of my favorites. Her family is hit hard by the Great Depression, and they begin taking in boarders and raise chickens to help make ends meet. Her books include themes of poverty, police brutality, homelessness, prejudice, and the importance of unity in difficult times. 
Molly’s father, a doctor, is drafted during the Second World War. Throughout her story, friends of hers suffer the loss of their husbands, sons, and brothers overseas. Her mother leaves the traditional housewife position and works full-time to help with the war effort. They also take in an English refugee child, who learns to open up after a life of traumatic experience. 
American Girl stories have always featured the very harsh realities of America through the years. But they’re always presented honestly, yet in ways that kids can understand. They just go to show that you don’t have to live in a perfect time to be a real American girl. 


Dont you fucking dare disrespect the American Girls in my house. ESPECIALLY Addy!! That was my first REAL contact with the horrors of slavery, as I read about her father being whipped and sold and her mother escaping with her to freedom, but also how freedom was still a struggle.
A slave doll. Please. Read the books. 

Don’t forget Kirsten, the Swedish immigrant who had to deal with balancing her own culture and learning the english language and customs of her classmates, or Kaya (full name 

Kaya'aton'my, or She Who Arranges Rocks) , the brave but careless girl from the Nez Perce tribe, or Josefina, the Mexican girl learning to be a healer.
And then there are the later dolls, that kids younger than me would have grown up with (I was just outgrowing American Girl as these came out), like Rebecca, the Jewish girl who dreams of becoming an actress in the budding film industry, or 

Julie, who fights against her school’s gender policy surrounding sports in the 70s, or 

Nanea, the Hawaiian girl whose father worked at Pearl Harbor.
These books, these characters, are fantastic pictures into life for girls in America throughout the years, they pull no punches with the horrors that these girls had to face in their different time periods, and in many cases I learned more history from these series than social studies at school. And that’s without even mentioning the “girl of the year” series where characters are created in the modern world to help girls deal with issues like friend problems, moving, or bullying. We do NOT disrespect American Girl in this house.


American Girl is probably going to be the only exposure young girls are going to get to history from a female perspective. This is actually kind of important considering that in history classes we dont really get that exposure. We dont hear about what women felt and endured during these time periods cause schools are too busy teaching us about what happened from the male perspective, which is not unimportant, but we need both. Girls need both.



These books were such a crucial part of my childhood and shaped my love of history, which still ensures today. These books can be a young girl’s first  lessons in diversity and cultural awareness (hopefully burying that insensitive “we’re all Americans” tripe) and looking at history from more perspectives than just that taught in school. They also are an example of how women have ALWAYS been part of history, which some people would rather us not believe.
I think Kit and Kaya were the newest American Girls when I started “aging out” of the books, but hearing about some of these kinda makes me want to revisit them!

I wasn’t gonna say anything, but you know what? 
Nah.
OP (of the tweet thread) was either a actively trying to start shit or is just a huge fucking moron. Probably both.
I’d like to point out that the company that makes American Girl dolls actually doesn’t skimp when doing their research and they don’t make the dolls with the intent to be offensive in any way:





I loved American Girl growing up they’re great role models and history lessons so yeah let’s not cancel this for ignorant reasons 

                
            

            
            
clover11-10:

breezeinmonochromenight:

star-linedsoul:

razzleberryjam:

ironwoman359:

chaos-in-the-making:

smugkoalas:


allthefandom...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    When I: I know a snack when I hear one. (via)
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                When I: I know a snack when I hear one. (via)
                
                

                
            

            
            
I know a snack when I hear one. (via)

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    When I: Even when I have a fan on by yaboiyos
MORE MEMES
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                When I: Even when I have a fan on by yaboiyos
MORE MEMES
                
            

            
            
Even when I have a fan on by yaboiyos
MORE MEMES

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    When I: afloweroutofstone:

iamicecreamsbitch:

averyterrible:


afloweroutofstone:

afloweroutofstone:

the-real-numbers:

identicaltomyself:


argumate:


afloweroutofstone:
Spent the last four hours or so starting on a new project: mapping the locations of famous horror movies set in America. It’s a work in progress, y’all’ see more when I’m done.
this is like when the RAF tried to figure out where to armour their bombers by looking at the distribution of bullet holes; the empty area on the map is where nobody lived to tell the tale.


It follows population density pretty closely except that the desert Southwest is over represented. Is that because it’s close to Hollywood? Cheap to shoot in? High density of chupacabras?


That’s just where the spooky is. Everything else is just noise from large populations.

Since @argumate​ brought this back, here’s what the map looks like today:
I started adding any horror movie at all, not just well-known ones. Also, it’s global now!

@cominyern​ Subgenre! 
Red is killer/slasher/psychological
Blue is monster/creature
Yellow is ghost/spirit/demon
Green is alien
Black is zombies
Purple is vampires
It lets you look at some cool regional trends, like how ghosts are huge in New England while aliens and vampires have a cluster in the Southwest.

that the original had a lot of black in Pittsburgh is unsurprising, given where a certain George Romero came from, but it now has an interesting relative density and variety.

(i blame the Tom Savini practical effects school in Monessen, personally)



I wish this was an interactive map I want to find and watch my “local” horror movies! 

Ask and you shall receive! Here’s a link to explore the map for your local horror movies!

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                When I: afloweroutofstone:

iamicecreamsbitch:

averyterrible:


afloweroutofstone:

afloweroutofstone:

the-real-numbers:

identicaltomyself:


argumate:


afloweroutofstone:
Spent the last four hours or so starting on a new project: mapping the locations of famous horror movies set in America. It’s a work in progress, y’all’ see more when I’m done.
this is like when the RAF tried to figure out where to armour their bombers by looking at the distribution of bullet holes; the empty area on the map is where nobody lived to tell the tale.


It follows population density pretty closely except that the desert Southwest is over represented. Is that because it’s close to Hollywood? Cheap to shoot in? High density of chupacabras?


That’s just where the spooky is. Everything else is just noise from large populations.

Since @argumate​ brought this back, here’s what the map looks like today:
I started adding any horror movie at all, not just well-known ones. Also, it’s global now!

@cominyern​ Subgenre! 
Red is killer/slasher/psychological
Blue is monster/creature
Yellow is ghost/spirit/demon
Green is alien
Black is zombies
Purple is vampires
It lets you look at some cool regional trends, like how ghosts are huge in New England while aliens and vampires have a cluster in the Southwest.

that the original had a lot of black in Pittsburgh is unsurprising, given where a certain George Romero came from, but it now has an interesting relative density and variety.

(i blame the Tom Savini practical effects school in Monessen, personally)



I wish this was an interactive map I want to find and watch my “local” horror movies! 

Ask and you shall receive! Here’s a link to explore the map for your local horror movies!

                
            

            
            
afloweroutofstone:

iamicecreamsbitch:

averyterrible:


afloweroutofstone:

afloweroutofstone:

the-real-numbers:

identicaltomyself:...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    When I: Made me smile when I saw this ngl
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                When I: Made me smile when I saw this ngl
                
            

            
            
Made me smile when I saw this ngl

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    When I: When I tell my friends that I never skip cardio.  Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co  #fitness #motivation #workout #gymaholic #meme
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                When I: When I tell my friends that I never skip cardio.  Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co  #fitness #motivation #workout #gymaholic #meme
                
            

            
            
When I tell my friends that I never skip cardio.  Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co  #fitness #motivation #workout #gymaholic #meme

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    When I: bscully:

OMG I remember reading these at the library when I was a lil kiddo*dies from nostalgia*
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                When I: bscully:

OMG I remember reading these at the library when I was a lil kiddo*dies from nostalgia*
                
            

            
            
bscully:

OMG I remember reading these at the library when I was a lil kiddo*dies from nostalgia*

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    When I: “Trying to play hide and seek with my dog, but she gets just TOO EXCITED when I spot her lol”(Source)
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                When I: “Trying to play hide and seek with my dog, but she gets just TOO EXCITED when I spot her lol”(Source)
                
                

                
            

            
            
“Trying to play hide and seek with my dog, but she gets just TOO EXCITED when I spot her lol”(Source)

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    When I: I love it when I see people who understand the situation
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                When I: I love it when I see people who understand the situation
                
            

            
            
I love it when I see people who understand the situation

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    When I: juls-art:



demons n demon slayer doodles  Prolly from when i was rewatching over calls w myre in late 2018 early 2019


    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                When I: juls-art:



demons n demon slayer doodles  Prolly from when i was rewatching over calls w myre in late 2018 early 2019


                
            

            
            
juls-art:



demons n demon slayer doodles  Prolly from when i was rewatching over calls w myre in late 2018 early 2019



            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    When I: art-is-the-weaponcreate-destroy:

secretladyspider:

sixpenceee:
How a Sahara sand viper conceals itself to prepare for an ambush. Via u/Sapulinjing

This is how I wiggle in to the covers when I sleep
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                When I: art-is-the-weaponcreate-destroy:

secretladyspider:

sixpenceee:
How a Sahara sand viper conceals itself to prepare for an ambush. Via u/Sapulinjing

This is how I wiggle in to the covers when I sleep
                
                

                
            

            
            
art-is-the-weaponcreate-destroy:

secretladyspider:

sixpenceee:
How a Sahara sand viper conceals itself to prepare for an ambush. Via u/...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    When I: I feel so bad I could not notice it when I was younger. Love you mom
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                When I: I feel so bad I could not notice it when I was younger. Love you mom
                
            

            
            
I feel so bad I could not notice it when I was younger. Love you mom

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    When I: Using this when I’m a parent
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                When I: Using this when I’m a parent
                
            

            
            
Using this when I’m a parent

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    When I: Only realize when I “accidentally” push em up to GitHub.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                When I: Only realize when I “accidentally” push em up to GitHub.
                
            

            
            
Only realize when I “accidentally” push em up to GitHub.

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    When I: I hate when it happens when I’m trying to sleep
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                When I: I hate when it happens when I’m trying to sleep
                
            

            
            
I hate when it happens when I’m trying to sleep

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    When I: cereusblue:
unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)


“we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?”
“kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
“we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.”
“i know.”
x
“daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.”
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
“daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
“don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
“father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?”
“your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.”
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says.
x
“why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
“we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.”
she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family.
“it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.”
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.”
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass.
“why not?” the mermaid asks.
“he’ll win,” the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
“don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.”
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape.
“let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.”
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
“you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
“i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.”
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. 
“we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
“i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
“guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.”
“without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?”
“i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?”
“of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.”
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
“you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
“they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.”
“and now?”
“they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?”
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.”

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!




HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                When I: cereusblue:
unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)


“we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?”
“kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
“we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.”
“i know.”
x
“daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.”
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
“daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
“don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
“father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?”
“your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.”
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says.
x
“why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
“we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.”
she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family.
“it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.”
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.”
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass.
“why not?” the mermaid asks.
“he’ll win,” the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
“don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.”
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape.
“let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.”
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
“you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
“i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.”
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. 
“we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
“i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
“guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.”
“without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?”
“i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?”
“of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.”
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
“you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
“they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.”
“and now?”
“they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?”
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.”

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!




HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER

                
            

            
            
cereusblue:
unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the g...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    When I: When I said I don’t like grape soda
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                When I: When I said I don’t like grape soda
                
            

            
            
When I said I don’t like grape soda

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    When I: Giggled when I saw this one just now.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                When I: Giggled when I saw this one just now.
                
            

            
            
Giggled when I saw this one just now.

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    When I: [OC] when I miss you ❤️
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                When I: [OC] when I miss you ❤️
                
            

            
            
[OC] when I miss you ❤️

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    When I: Decided to go back to one of my first memes I saved from when I was a kid
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                When I: Decided to go back to one of my first memes I saved from when I was a kid
                
            

            
            
Decided to go back to one of my first memes I saved from when I was a kid

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    When I: omgcheckplease:

★ Notes on Year 4, Comic 26 - Check, Please ★In the summer of 2013, I was fully mourning my completed time as an undergraduate at Yale. One of the college’s traditional songs—which they strategically have students sing during their first weeks as Yalies and then again at the moment we’re conferred our degrees—goes like this:Bright College years, with pleasure rife,The shortest, gladdest years of life;How swiftly are ye gliding by!Oh, why doth time so quickly fly?Et cetera. The first time you sing it, you mumble the words and don’t know a single person around you. The last time you sing it, wearing the mortarboard and gown, you’ve got the lyrics memorized and you’re surrounded by some of the most important people in your life.That summer, with “How bright will seem, through mem’ry’s haze/ Those happy, golden, bygone days!” still ringing in my ears, I started CHECK, PLEASE. The comic’s first panels emerged on an ancient laptop, through a borrowed bamboo tablet, and on a free drawing program called gnu-IMPShop. I had no plan. I wanted to explore my newfound fascination with hockey and share silly cartoons on Tumblr. But unconsciously, I also wanted to pour the nostalgia of those bright college years into the Haus, Faber, Samwell, and Bitty’s story. I wanted to bottle up those moments where we grow and change and fall down and pick ourselves back up. Drawing CHECK, PLEASE was how I revisited those experiences and how I sifted through the bittersweet feeling of concluding something I loved. Perhaps this is why finishing CHECK, PLEASE calls back those same emotions. Just as Bitty would bake affection into a pie, I might have encoded into CHECK, PLEASE the heartfelt fondness I had for my time in college, the love of the friends I made there, and the gratitude I have for my own growth.I have always found it easier to express gratitude face to face. And even though I would not have gotten to meet all of you, the greatest downside of being unable to participate in a book tour is that I can’t say thanks in person. I could write a thousand words, yet they couldn’t replace a high five at a bookstore signing or a handshake at a convention. I could write the blog post to end all blog posts, but it’s not the same as yelling with you about an episode or chatting about a fandom we both happen be in. For me, it’s those moments that somehow equate to my abundant appreciation for you, the reader.I look forward to the day when I can let my actions speak louder than my words!In the meantime: thank you. I am incredibly blessed to get to create a story and then share it. This is all I want to do in life. These characters get to have a readership overflowing with love and enthusiasm for them. This comic, somehow, has found ambassadors. This story gets to be told. Thank you! I’m excited to share with you the unusual, fun, and hopeful narratives I’m working hard to develop.So with that, I’ll sign off on the last blog post! Thank you for reading this comic. Thank you for sharing it with friends. Thank you for caring about Bitty’s story and CHECK, PLEASE.Thank you!John J. Johnson.Just kidding, it’s Ngozi. :^) Tee hee. Bye now!
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                When I: omgcheckplease:

★ Notes on Year 4, Comic 26 - Check, Please ★In the summer of 2013, I was fully mourning my completed time as an undergraduate at Yale. One of the college’s traditional songs—which they strategically have students sing during their first weeks as Yalies and then again at the moment we’re conferred our degrees—goes like this:Bright College years, with pleasure rife,The shortest, gladdest years of life;How swiftly are ye gliding by!Oh, why doth time so quickly fly?Et cetera. The first time you sing it, you mumble the words and don’t know a single person around you. The last time you sing it, wearing the mortarboard and gown, you’ve got the lyrics memorized and you’re surrounded by some of the most important people in your life.That summer, with “How bright will seem, through mem’ry’s haze/ Those happy, golden, bygone days!” still ringing in my ears, I started CHECK, PLEASE. The comic’s first panels emerged on an ancient laptop, through a borrowed bamboo tablet, and on a free drawing program called gnu-IMPShop. I had no plan. I wanted to explore my newfound fascination with hockey and share silly cartoons on Tumblr. But unconsciously, I also wanted to pour the nostalgia of those bright college years into the Haus, Faber, Samwell, and Bitty’s story. I wanted to bottle up those moments where we grow and change and fall down and pick ourselves back up. Drawing CHECK, PLEASE was how I revisited those experiences and how I sifted through the bittersweet feeling of concluding something I loved. Perhaps this is why finishing CHECK, PLEASE calls back those same emotions. Just as Bitty would bake affection into a pie, I might have encoded into CHECK, PLEASE the heartfelt fondness I had for my time in college, the love of the friends I made there, and the gratitude I have for my own growth.I have always found it easier to express gratitude face to face. And even though I would not have gotten to meet all of you, the greatest downside of being unable to participate in a book tour is that I can’t say thanks in person. I could write a thousand words, yet they couldn’t replace a high five at a bookstore signing or a handshake at a convention. I could write the blog post to end all blog posts, but it’s not the same as yelling with you about an episode or chatting about a fandom we both happen be in. For me, it’s those moments that somehow equate to my abundant appreciation for you, the reader.I look forward to the day when I can let my actions speak louder than my words!In the meantime: thank you. I am incredibly blessed to get to create a story and then share it. This is all I want to do in life. These characters get to have a readership overflowing with love and enthusiasm for them. This comic, somehow, has found ambassadors. This story gets to be told. Thank you! I’m excited to share with you the unusual, fun, and hopeful narratives I’m working hard to develop.So with that, I’ll sign off on the last blog post! Thank you for reading this comic. Thank you for sharing it with friends. Thank you for caring about Bitty’s story and CHECK, PLEASE.Thank you!John J. Johnson.Just kidding, it’s Ngozi. :^) Tee hee. Bye now!
                
            

            
            
omgcheckplease:

★ Notes on Year 4, Comic 26 - Check, Please ★In the summer of 2013, I was fully mourning my completed time as an undergr...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    When I: plinnerofficial:When I’m finally able to buy milk in the grocery store 🐱
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                When I: plinnerofficial:When I’m finally able to buy milk in the grocery store 🐱
                
                

                
            

            
            
plinnerofficial:When I’m finally able to buy milk in the grocery store 🐱

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    When I: afloweroutofstone:

iamicecreamsbitch:

averyterrible:


afloweroutofstone:

afloweroutofstone:

the-real-numbers:

identicaltomyself:


argumate:


afloweroutofstone:
Spent the last four hours or so starting on a new project: mapping the locations of famous horror movies set in America. It’s a work in progress, y’all’ see more when I’m done.
this is like when the RAF tried to figure out where to armour their bombers by looking at the distribution of bullet holes; the empty area on the map is where nobody lived to tell the tale.


It follows population density pretty closely except that the desert Southwest is over represented. Is that because it’s close to Hollywood? Cheap to shoot in? High density of chupacabras?


That’s just where the spooky is. Everything else is just noise from large populations.

Since @argumate​ brought this back, here’s what the map looks like today:
I started adding any horror movie at all, not just well-known ones. Also, it’s global now!

@cominyern​ Subgenre! 
Red is killer/slasher/psychological
Blue is monster/creature
Yellow is ghost/spirit/demon
Green is alien
Black is zombies
Purple is vampires
It lets you look at some cool regional trends, like how ghosts are huge in New England while aliens and vampires have a cluster in the Southwest.

that the original had a lot of black in Pittsburgh is unsurprising, given where a certain George Romero came from, but it now has an interesting relative density and variety.

(i blame the Tom Savini practical effects school in Monessen, personally)



I wish this was an interactive map I want to find and watch my “local” horror movies! 

Ask and you shall receive! Here’s a link to explore the map for your local horror movies!

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                When I: afloweroutofstone:

iamicecreamsbitch:

averyterrible:


afloweroutofstone:

afloweroutofstone:

the-real-numbers:

identicaltomyself:


argumate:


afloweroutofstone:
Spent the last four hours or so starting on a new project: mapping the locations of famous horror movies set in America. It’s a work in progress, y’all’ see more when I’m done.
this is like when the RAF tried to figure out where to armour their bombers by looking at the distribution of bullet holes; the empty area on the map is where nobody lived to tell the tale.


It follows population density pretty closely except that the desert Southwest is over represented. Is that because it’s close to Hollywood? Cheap to shoot in? High density of chupacabras?


That’s just where the spooky is. Everything else is just noise from large populations.

Since @argumate​ brought this back, here’s what the map looks like today:
I started adding any horror movie at all, not just well-known ones. Also, it’s global now!

@cominyern​ Subgenre! 
Red is killer/slasher/psychological
Blue is monster/creature
Yellow is ghost/spirit/demon
Green is alien
Black is zombies
Purple is vampires
It lets you look at some cool regional trends, like how ghosts are huge in New England while aliens and vampires have a cluster in the Southwest.

that the original had a lot of black in Pittsburgh is unsurprising, given where a certain George Romero came from, but it now has an interesting relative density and variety.

(i blame the Tom Savini practical effects school in Monessen, personally)



I wish this was an interactive map I want to find and watch my “local” horror movies! 

Ask and you shall receive! Here’s a link to explore the map for your local horror movies!

                
            

            
            
afloweroutofstone:

iamicecreamsbitch:

averyterrible:


afloweroutofstone:

afloweroutofstone:

the-real-numbers:

identicaltomyself:...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    When I: melxncholymermxid:
mens-rights-activia:

What I look like when I wear camo vs what them city slickers see


Me a city slicker: 

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                When I: melxncholymermxid:
mens-rights-activia:

What I look like when I wear camo vs what them city slickers see


Me a city slicker: 

                
            

            
            
melxncholymermxid:
mens-rights-activia:

What I look like when I wear camo vs what them city slickers see


Me a city slicker: 


            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    When I: bunjywunjy:
lostinhistory:

bidet-of-evil:

officialukulele:


nogoawayok:

penguinsstealingsanity:


that-ships-hellabig:


phanfruit:


krakkenchaos:

swindontownswoodilypooper:

petrovasinspace:

f-i-v-e-byfive:

thesixtysevenchevyimpala:

ilovecountryeverything:

titaniumbovine:

peaceroxi:

steveisoncrack:


HEY TUMBLR, LET’S PLAY A GAME
To play this game, go to MapCrunch, select “hide location”, make sure you have all countries unselected, and click go. What this will do is drop you in a random part of the world. It’s as if you woke up on the side of a road in an unfamiliar country. The goal of the game is to find your way to an airport so you can return home. 
Bonus Hard Mode: No using outside sources, and that includes using google maps to figure out your location from signs or landmarks

…I had plans today but now.

THE AIRPORT GAME IS BACK.

FUCK THIS GAME
LAST TIME I PLAYED IT DUMPED ME IN THE MOUNTAINS OF NORWAY
I PLAYED FOR LIKE 8 HOURS BEFORE BREAKING DOWN CRYING

OMG NO STOP THIS GAME IS MY LIFE!!!

IT’S BACK

WHY IS THIS BACK

WHYYYYY

oh shit

I HAVEN’T USED THIS GIF SINCE FEBRUARY


Always reblog Mapcrunch when someone tries to bring it back

it dropped me in a fucking room full of pandas


Ohmygod


It once dropped my in my home town a few km’s from the airport XD


i think this is gonna be a problem

i feel threatened also why is one of the cows blurred out who is she 


I’m trapped in a bathroom and i have no reflection 

I am on a dock by a bay



the last time I played this, it dumped me in the middle of a desert and when I turned the camera around it was literally standing next to the runway of an air force base

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                When I: bunjywunjy:
lostinhistory:

bidet-of-evil:

officialukulele:


nogoawayok:

penguinsstealingsanity:


that-ships-hellabig:


phanfruit:


krakkenchaos:

swindontownswoodilypooper:

petrovasinspace:

f-i-v-e-byfive:

thesixtysevenchevyimpala:

ilovecountryeverything:

titaniumbovine:

peaceroxi:

steveisoncrack:


HEY TUMBLR, LET’S PLAY A GAME
To play this game, go to MapCrunch, select “hide location”, make sure you have all countries unselected, and click go. What this will do is drop you in a random part of the world. It’s as if you woke up on the side of a road in an unfamiliar country. The goal of the game is to find your way to an airport so you can return home. 
Bonus Hard Mode: No using outside sources, and that includes using google maps to figure out your location from signs or landmarks

…I had plans today but now.

THE AIRPORT GAME IS BACK.

FUCK THIS GAME
LAST TIME I PLAYED IT DUMPED ME IN THE MOUNTAINS OF NORWAY
I PLAYED FOR LIKE 8 HOURS BEFORE BREAKING DOWN CRYING

OMG NO STOP THIS GAME IS MY LIFE!!!

IT’S BACK

WHY IS THIS BACK

WHYYYYY

oh shit

I HAVEN’T USED THIS GIF SINCE FEBRUARY


Always reblog Mapcrunch when someone tries to bring it back

it dropped me in a fucking room full of pandas


Ohmygod


It once dropped my in my home town a few km’s from the airport XD


i think this is gonna be a problem

i feel threatened also why is one of the cows blurred out who is she 


I’m trapped in a bathroom and i have no reflection 

I am on a dock by a bay



the last time I played this, it dumped me in the middle of a desert and when I turned the camera around it was literally standing next to the runway of an air force base

                
            

            
            
bunjywunjy:
lostinhistory:

bidet-of-evil:

officialukulele:


nogoawayok:

penguinsstealingsanity:


that-ships-hellabig:


phanfruit:...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    When I: Unmatched him when I saw him typing back
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                When I: Unmatched him when I saw him typing back
                
            

            
            
Unmatched him when I saw him typing back

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    When I: When I accidentally put server code on the client side
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                When I: When I accidentally put server code on the client side
                
                

                
            

            
            
When I accidentally put server code on the client side

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    When I: Throwback to when I made an account as a quack dealer duck
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                When I: Throwback to when I made an account as a quack dealer duck
                
            

            
            
Throwback to when I made an account as a quack dealer duck

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    When I: lioncoloredgoat:

pup-fenwick:

monster-visions:

gahdamnpunk:


when I tell you I’m yelling 💀💀




@cloud-peth 


Plot twist: your problematic does something fave 

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                When I: lioncoloredgoat:

pup-fenwick:

monster-visions:

gahdamnpunk:


when I tell you I’m yelling 💀💀




@cloud-peth 


Plot twist: your problematic does something fave 

                
                

                
            

            
            
lioncoloredgoat:

pup-fenwick:

monster-visions:

gahdamnpunk:


when I tell you I’m yelling 💀💀




@cloud-peth 


Plot twist: your probl...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    When I: She hates me when I do that
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                When I: She hates me when I do that
                
            

            
            
She hates me when I do that

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    When I: justcatposts:When I look over at you in the morning.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                When I: justcatposts:When I look over at you in the morning.
                
                

                
            

            
            
justcatposts:When I look over at you in the morning.