🐣 25+ Best Memes About Off

Off: thestraggletag: gleefully-macabre: gleefully-macabre: brawltogethernow: gingerhastoomanyobsessions: I can’t breathe Best wishes to these people obviously but I’m WHEEZING at the concept of a standard horror plot starter but the stranded travelers are an entire fully equipped orchestra. It’s the prequel to every other horror film. Their haunting spirits play the background music. Oh shoot, that actually would be a really cool concept. The film starts with no thematic music, and as each member of the orchestra is picked off, their instrument joins the soundtrack. Subtly, so you don’t really notice, and the end credits are a full orchestral symphony. DUUUUUDE

thestraggletag: gleefully-macabre: gleefully-macabre: brawltogethernow: gingerhastoomanyobsessions: I can’t breathe Best wishes to t...

Off: Thot rarer off the charts

Thot rarer off the charts

Off: Getting off work to see your SO

Getting off work to see your SO

Off: Medical professional having to deal with an unruly patient trying to take off their mask (via)

Medical professional having to deal with an unruly patient trying to take off their mask (via)

Off: feniczoroark: randomnightlord: feniczoroark: randomnightlord: feniczoroark: randomnightlord: a-40k-author: The Judiciar. A Judiciar is not only a supernal swordsman, able to cut down foes with but a single blow of his brutal-looking executioner relic blade, but he has an all-new item of esoteric wargear – the tempormortis. You don’t need to be an expert in High Gothic to know that this means it’s something he can use to manipulate time and ensure the death of his quarry. Now this is just straight up unfair for all other players Yep. Knowing gw they’ll use it to kill of all named xenos characters so they don’t have to make the buts for them and can free more space to making marines to wank off marines more We’re all just waiting for Cato Shitarius to kill the Necron bossbot and then become primarisGW is so fucking DUMB. And so are those specific Space Marine famboys that are complaining that their new shit looks ridiculous. BE HAPPY THAT YOU EVEN GET ANYTHING POSTER BOY. The only complaint by marine fans I’ve seen that actually has merit was about the “what the fuck is going on with assault intercessors” (Given usually “assault marines” have jump packs and these ones don’t (which I suppose also makes them useless for conversions))And I would like Cato to perrish Wait. THAT JUDICATOR IS A FUCKING ULTRAMARINE TOO. Of course it is FUCK YOU GW

feniczoroark: randomnightlord: feniczoroark: randomnightlord: feniczoroark: randomnightlord: a-40k-author: The Judiciar. A Judici...

Off: feniczoroark: randomnightlord: feniczoroark: randomnightlord: a-40k-author: The Judiciar. A Judiciar is not only a supernal swordsman, able to cut down foes with but a single blow of his brutal-looking executioner relic blade, but he has an all-new item of esoteric wargear – the tempormortis. You don’t need to be an expert in High Gothic to know that this means it’s something he can use to manipulate time and ensure the death of his quarry. Now this is just straight up unfair for all other players Yep. Knowing gw they’ll use it to kill of all named xenos characters so they don’t have to make the buts for them and can free more space to making marines to wank off marines more We’re all just waiting for Cato Shitarius to kill the Necron bossbot and then become primarisGW is so fucking DUMB. And so are those specific Space Marine famboys that are complaining that their new shit looks ridiculous. BE HAPPY THAT YOU EVEN GET ANYTHING POSTER BOY. The only complaint by marine fans I’ve seen that actually has merit was about the “what the fuck is going on with assault intercessors” (Given usually “assault marines” have jump packs and these ones don’t (which I suppose also makes them useless for conversions))And I would like Cato to perrish Wait. THAT JUDICATOR IS A FUCKING ULTRAMARINE TOO.

feniczoroark: randomnightlord: feniczoroark: randomnightlord: a-40k-author: The Judiciar. A Judiciar is not only a supernal swordsm...

Off: feniczoroark: randomnightlord: a-40k-author: The Judiciar. A Judiciar is not only a supernal swordsman, able to cut down foes with but a single blow of his brutal-looking executioner relic blade, but he has an all-new item of esoteric wargear – the tempormortis. You don’t need to be an expert in High Gothic to know that this means it’s something he can use to manipulate time and ensure the death of his quarry. Now this is just straight up unfair for all other players Yep. Knowing gw they’ll use it to kill of all named xenos characters so they don’t have to make the buts for them and can free more space to making marines to wank off marines more We’re all just waiting for Cato Shitarius to kill the Necron bossbot and then become primarisGW is so fucking DUMB. And so are those specific Space Marine famboys that are complaining that their new shit looks ridiculous. BE HAPPY THAT YOU EVEN GET ANYTHING POSTER BOY.

feniczoroark: randomnightlord: a-40k-author: The Judiciar. A Judiciar is not only a supernal swordsman, able to cut down foes with bu...

Off: Getting cut off [OC]

Getting cut off [OC]

Off: bisexualbaker: bisexualbaker: thwippersnapple: Tingle just cranked out 50k words for a spite story for JKR and I am LIVING for it! [Image one: Tweet from Chuck Tingle ( @ChuckTingle ): please enjoy new full length adult romance novel (52000 words) in paperback or ebook about the best wizard: TRANS WIZARD HARRIET PORBER AND THE BAD BOY PARASAUROLOPHUS available now also trans rights amazon.com/dp/B08B386R6J ] [Image two: Cover of the aforementioned Harriet Porber novel; Harriet is front and center, a young trans woman with light skin, long dark hair, and glasses; she has a wand raised in her right hand. Behind her are a mammoth in a wizard’s hat, an anthropomorphic duck-billed dinosaur, and a motorcycle with the head of a woman.] Chuck Tingle is a gift. OMG the summary: Trans wizard Harriet Porber is a master spellsmith who’s found herself in a bit of a pickle. After finishing wizard college, Harriet made a name for herself by creating a hit viral spell, but has since failed to craft a follow up. Now Harriet’s agent, Minerma, is breathing down her neck, suggesting that Harriet take a trip to an island off the coast of England for inspiration.Hoping for some peace and quiet to clear her head, Harriet Porber arrives to find that her new neighbor, an angsty bard named Snabe from the band Seven Inch Nails, is already there making a racket. This parasaurolophus spellcaster is a bad boy through and through, and with his incredible powers of metamagic, Snabe reveals that this layer of reality is much more than it seems. Could Harriet and Snabe really be characters in a parody romance novel?Soon enough, these two are discovering they have more similarities than differences: both trans, both strong, and both hoping to create a new spell that will change the world. But with the addition of two devious sentient motorcycles to the mix, Dellatrix and Braco, things start to get complicated.Now trans wizard Harriet Porber is caught up in a tale of magic and mystery where nothing is as it seems, except for one universal truth: love is real.This is a 52,000 word bad boy romance novel for adults. It contains some explicit scenes.

bisexualbaker: bisexualbaker: thwippersnapple: Tingle just cranked out 50k words for a spite story for JKR and I am LIVING for it! [Imag...

Off: Reddit needs a “go back to where you left off” button

Reddit needs a “go back to where you left off” button

Off: crispy-ghee: 3 of Cousin’s other children: Little Knife, Little Flame, and Naniandi. (aka, the last of the group of Cousin’s kids that I’ll draw because he has like 50 or something and I’m not designing all of them, I’m sorry. Feel free to pretend that your OC is Cousin’s kid, it’ll probably work out.)Little Knife: Cousin’s youngest son and the last he had with Fury before she died. A cocky little shit sometimes, but with good reason. While smaller than all his sibs, his agility and stealth made him an asset to hunting parties. His relationship w/ Jagged-Tooth sucks. He and Kal'thnde are very close, tho, as Cousin was already aging and too busy chaperoning youngbloods to pay him as much attention as he should’ve, Kal and his sisters more or less raised him and got between him and Jagged-Tooth often. Lauded for his nimbleness and his lightning speed while maintaining near-silence, he has become an asset in his hunting party. His abilities also make him sought after for off-world reconnaissance, where he travels to planets to review and evaluate their suitability for hunting.Little Knife is one of the 20 or so Yautja who join Cousin to form the Yautja Faction, against the orders of the Elder Council. 12 of his brothers also form the team, including Jagged-Tooth and Kal’thnde. Little Flame: Celebrated Huntress, Several times Champion of inter-tribal games and so coveted and beloved beyond her own clan. Aggressive, abrasive, but loyal, like her father in his youth. Little Flame is close to Kal and Little Knife, and was one of Cousin’s children that fought against Jagged-Tooth’s bad attitude–ballsy, as he’s biotic. She and the eldest brother never really learned to get along, but there is begrudging respect for each others achievements. Little Flame basically saved her father’s life when at one point she heard whispers that some elders were speaking of sending Enforcers or some other group of Hunters to go after Cousin and his Renegades. She sent him warnings, and killed most of the would-be trackers herself.Naniandi: Cousin’s eldest Daughter. Sometimes called Furious Patience, a play on her mother’s name (Patient Fury), since she’s so much like her. One of the tribe matriarchs, and often invited alongside the tribe’s elders to speak diplomacy with other clans when needed. Naniandi is the closest Jagged-Tooth is to any of his family, maybe having to do w/ how much like his mother she is, even though she is a century or so younger than him. She’s basically all around respected by everyone in Cousin’s family, as well as their overall clan It’s Naniandi’s influence and hard work that made it possible for Cousin and the remainder of the Yautja faction to return to Homeworld after they’d disgraced themselves to go fight alongside Shepard. She ultimately convinced the elders to reinstate honor and title to her father. Yautja joke (but only a little) about wishing to birth armies. Compared to others his age, Cousin only has a moderate amount of offspring, but those that survived into his old age came out fierce, capable, and loyal to their family. It’s thanks to them he could be with Shepard.

crispy-ghee: 3 of Cousin’s other children: Little Knife, Little Flame, and Naniandi. (aka, the last of the group of Cousin’s kids that I...

Off: what-even-is-thiss: bobcatdump: jaskiegg: mellomaia: aphony-cree: beyoncescock: gahdamnpunk: Honestly!!! This is just psychological trauma in the making THANK YOU I’ve asked parents about this and they always say they are teaching the child responsibility and “respect for other people’s things.” If I point out that the child accidentally broke their own toy they always say “I bought them that toy” or “my sister gave that to them.” The problem is that parents view all possessions as not really belonging to the child. A part of them always seems to think that the adult who provided the money is the real owner If a parent breaks a dish they see it as breaking something that already belonged to them, but if a child breaks it they see it as the child breaking something that belonged to the parents People raising children need to realize that household possessions belong to the entire household. If everyone has to use that plate then it belongs to everyone and anyone can have a forgivable accident with it. It’s okay to deem certain possessions as just yours and ask everyone in the house to respect that, but extend the same respect to your child’s belongings Big mood. I know most of these are talking about little little kids, but here’s a tale from middle school. I had forgotten to charge my phone one night, and this was back when cell phones used to beep loudly when they were low on battery. I kept hearing the noise throughout the afternoon and not recognizing what it was because I’d never heard it before. When I finally did realize what it was, I was in science class and my fellow classmates were making presentations. I reached into my bag to try to turn off the phone, and then the low-battery sound went off, loud enough for the teacher to hear it. She confiscated my phone in front of everyone, and I didn’t get it back until after the weekend because it was a Friday. I was really embarrassed, especially to tell my parents. When I got my phone back that Monday, my teacher said it was important for me to learn this lesson now since in college they wouldn’t tolerate phones going off. Fast forward to when I was in college, any time someone’s phone went off, either the professor would tell them to turn it off, or they would say, “Oh, my bad,” and turn it off themselves, and everyone would move on. I even had a professor who danced around while someone’s phone went off, and it was a welcome moment of levity during the lecture. I say all this to say, one of the worst aspects of being a child/teen was adults assuming my intentions were malicious. God I’ve been reading these posts for a while and each time I am struck with the realization that certainly not all parents were supposed to be a parent “I say all this to say, one of the worst aspects of being a child/teen was adults assuming my intentions were malicious.”YES this The problem is, even if families are forgiving the culture around children still effects the child. I use myself as proof of that. A few times between the ages of 4 and 18 I broke things. I broke my grandma’s favorite Christmas ornament. Her first question was: “Are you hurt?” and when I apologized profusely she said “I’m just glad you weren’t hurt.” I broke a few plates. I broke a couple glasses. Every time my dad’s first response was “Did you get cut?” the second step was cleaning up the broken bits, and the third was a discussion of what led to me breaking it and how I could avoid doing that in the future. Same with spills. Same with stains. My biggest “punishment” from my immediate family was being taught how to clean up the mess I made and being shown in detail how to avoid the same mistake in the future if it was avoidable. There were consequences for my actions, but they were the direct result of those actions and nothing much beyond that. My family tried so hard to teach me how to deal with accidents in a healthy way. They were patient. They treated every slip-up as a learning opportunity. They showed me a lot of love. The other adults still got to me. Teachers still punished and publicly shamed me and other students for our mess-ups. Extended family members outside of my small supportive circle still yelled at me. My friends’ parents still got mad. To the point where whenever I messed up my first instinct was that my dad or grandparents were going to punish me, or yell at me, or hit me, even though they never did. They just didn’t. They always responded with patience and an attitude of “I’m glad you’re safe and I want to help you learn from this.” And I was still afraid of messing up. Mortified. Expecting the worst every time. It’s like… we need to change the culture around this, man. Completely.

what-even-is-thiss: bobcatdump: jaskiegg: mellomaia: aphony-cree: beyoncescock: gahdamnpunk: Honestly!!! This is just psychologica...

Off: This was posted in one of the DIY groups I’m in. Good guy Jon from the 90s saves another pissed off renovator.

This was posted in one of the DIY groups I’m in. Good guy Jon from the 90s saves another pissed off renovator.

Off: cumaeansibyl: copperbadge: jmathieson-fic: carbon-ate: please listen to this guy from Chicago ague with this snake @copperbadge a) This dude has definitely either broken up a fight at 2am outside a bar in Little Warsaw or legit used the phrase “But he’s okay, he’s South Side Irish” to vouch for someone, probably both b) The whole thing is very Chicago but the MOST Chicago part of this entire video is where he has finally seen the snake off into the brush and calls, “Take it easy, buddy, sorry to ruin your afternoon!” before the film cuts out. “It’s not like that, all right? We’re keepin it civil” Chicago has a kind of benevolent belligerence that I really enjoy like who else is going to call a snake a “delicate bastard”

cumaeansibyl: copperbadge: jmathieson-fic: carbon-ate: please listen to this guy from Chicago ague with this snake @copperbadge a) Thi...

Off: Get 50% OFF almost any adult item & FREE US/CAN Shipping by using offer code POSITIVE at AdamAndEve.com. 18+ Only.

Get 50% OFF almost any adult item & FREE US/CAN Shipping by using offer code POSITIVE at AdamAndEve.com. 18+ Only.

Off: hunterofartemis12:I know the Disney+ show is going to be live action but I imagine an animated series starting off somewhat like this :)

hunterofartemis12:I know the Disney+ show is going to be live action but I imagine an animated series starting off somewhat like this :)

Off: inquisitorhotpants: burntcopper: futureevilscientist: optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: sonnetscrewdriver: dat-soldier: did-you-kno: Source back the fuck up There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up. So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him. The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off. Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes. did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out This just keeps getting better I fucking love history. ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire. The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked. On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro” and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing. and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave. Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat. and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked. Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river. Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy. Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows. Zhuge Liang is legend. I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History. If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff. Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this: Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes. Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D

inquisitorhotpants: burntcopper: futureevilscientist: optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: so...

Off: 12 years ago today, Lil Wayne released ‘Tha Carter III’ featuring the tracks “Lollipop”, “Mr. Carter”, and “A Milli”. Comment your favorite song off this album below! 👇🎶🔥 @LilTunechi #HipHopHistory https://t.co/ypz9EGHrRC

12 years ago today, Lil Wayne released ‘Tha Carter III’ featuring the tracks “Lollipop”, “Mr. Carter”, and “A Milli”. Comment your favori...

Off: i’m laughing my clavicle off

i’m laughing my clavicle off

Off: She feeds off attention.

She feeds off attention.

Off: angryzombiekitten: Mochi Cat Kitten Squishy Squeeze Cute Healing Toy Kawaii Collection Stress Reliever Gift Decor Check out HERE20% OFF coupon code： tumblr-0506

angryzombiekitten: Mochi Cat Kitten Squishy Squeeze Cute Healing Toy Kawaii Collection Stress Reliever Gift Decor Check out HERE20% OFF...

Off: Same lol by Amy_Off_1975 MORE MEMES

Same lol by Amy_Off_1975 MORE MEMES

Off: angryzombiekitten: Women Pointed Toe Embroidered Lace Up Block Heel Short BootsCheck out HERE20% OFF coupon code: tumblr-0506

angryzombiekitten: Women Pointed Toe Embroidered Lace Up Block Heel Short BootsCheck out HERE20% OFF coupon code: tumblr-0506

Off: Something feels off…

Something feels off…

Off: Shart off, twitter

Shart off, twitter

Off: Cat dump for dropping the kids off at the pool… or litter box.

Cat dump for dropping the kids off at the pool… or litter box.

Off: tindershwinder: Get 50% OFF almost any adult item & FREE US/CAN Shipping by using offer code SHWINDER at AdamAndEve.com. 18+ Only.

tindershwinder: Get 50% OFF almost any adult item & FREE US/CAN Shipping by using offer code SHWINDER at AdamAndEve.com. 18+ Only.

Off: justcatposts: “I rescued this cat off the street. Photos before and after. One month difference.“ (Source)

justcatposts: “I rescued this cat off the street. Photos before and after. One month difference.“ (Source)

Off: It tastes a bit off… by InterestingRamy06 MORE MEMES

It tastes a bit off… by InterestingRamy06 MORE MEMES

Off: It tastes a bit off…

It tastes a bit off…

Off: Play me off, Johnny by tuppennyupright MORE MEMES

Play me off, Johnny by tuppennyupright MORE MEMES

Off: A Blue-footed Booby proudly showing off their very impressive feet 🔥 Sound on(Source)

A Blue-footed Booby proudly showing off their very impressive feet 🔥 Sound on(Source)

Off: wwwwyamd: a-humble-waffle: burn-brighter-than-fire: oxfordcommaforever: etanselian: sexhaver: the LAPD is having a town hall and getting fucking eviscerated The automated YouTube captions are bad in places so here is a transcription of this incredible call. [Video description: A Zoom call featuring a video grid of seven attendees, all of whom are members of the Los Angeles Police Commission. There is a timer in the upper left corner for callers keeping them to two minutes. The current caller is Jon Barr.] LAPC President Eileen Decker, responding to the question “can you hear me?”: Yes, we can. Barr: Great. Uh, first things first: Chief Moore, you’ve got to do a better job of pretending you care about this, man. I’ve been watching you roll your eyes and offer halfhearted smirks acting like a teenager who’s falling asleep in detention. Are you not aware of the war crimes your department’s doing, or are you just that impatient to go do more of them? I see a lot of you, particularly Soboroff, only react when folks use profanity in their remarks. If you think curse words are bad, wait until you hear about these 600-plus murders your department has committed over the last seven years! As long as Moore’s out here equating peaceful protestors with cops who murder black people, you all could pretend to be as angry about murder as the F-word, okay kids? I know you’re all having a rough day, what with everyone here telling you you’re bad at your jobs. Have you considered being good at your jobs? If not, you could find new jobs in retail or restaurants. I know how desperate Garcetti is to get Angelenos consuming again during a global pandemic. Where were the curfews then, by the way? Weird. Chief Moore is morally obligated to resign. Mikey, I know you said you didn’t mean protestors are as much to blame for George Floyd’s murder as his murderers – that’s a lie! It is what you meant! And we all know it. Mikey’s made it clear in his racist actions and empty platitudes that he doesn’t care about the well-being of his constituents. He loves to tear gas them, blind them, force them indoors with curfews that are announced only a half-hour before they take effect, and racially profile as he does so! Don’t think I didn’t hear about how yesterday you sent out an alert in English saying curfew started at 5PM, and sent out an alert right after in Spanish saying it started at 6! What’s up with that, bud? All your cute Zoom background photos of the city won’t trick us into thinking you care about anyone but yourselves and what’s in your pockets. To close with a James Cameron quote, “Cops think of all non-cops as less than they are: stupid, weak, and evil. They dehumanize the people they are sworn to protect, and desensitize themselves in order to do that job.” That’s you pigs to a T. Black lives matter, act like it. Happy Tuesday. This one was amazing. I’m also a big fan of this one- short and sweet [Video description: Zoom call featuring a video grid of seven attendees, all of whom are members of the Los Angeles Police Commission. There is a timer in the upper left corner for callers set to 30 seconds. The current caller is Jeremy Frisch.] Frisch: Hello can you hear me? Woman: Hi, yes. Frisch [getting progressively louder and angrier]: Black lives matter, defund the police. I find it disgusting that the LAPD is slaughtering peaceful protestors on the street. I had two friends go to the protest in Beverly Hills a couple days ago and the protest was peaceful until the police showed up with their excessive violent force, shooting rubber bullets and throwing tear gas. [Frisch is now yelling] Is this what you think is protecting and serving? Because I think it’s bullshit! Fuck you Michael Moore! I refuse to call you an officer or a chief because you don’t deserve those titles. You are a disgrace! Suck my dick and choke on it! I yield my time. FUCK YOU! Holy mother of FUCK they went off Thank you, thank you thank you for transcribing this because I was in a position with my “neutral” family where I couldn’t listen. Thank you

wwwwyamd: a-humble-waffle: burn-brighter-than-fire: oxfordcommaforever: etanselian: sexhaver: the LAPD is having a town hall and get...

Off: She caught me off guard

She caught me off guard

Off: Get 50% OFF almost any adult item & FREE US/CAN Shipping by using offer code POSITIVE at AdamAndEve.com. 18+ Only.

Get 50% OFF almost any adult item & FREE US/CAN Shipping by using offer code POSITIVE at AdamAndEve.com. 18+ Only.

Off: joscher: paxamericana: gonna start driving without license plates to honor the troops gonna burn off my fingerprints to honor the forensics team

joscher: paxamericana: gonna start driving without license plates to honor the troops gonna burn off my fingerprints to honor the forens...

Off: animalsnaps: “We got an adoption approval notice for this beauty on my daughters 5th birthday yesterday. Never been on a leash or in a house but has mastered both in one day. Just got home from the off leash and now she’s found her spot, welcome to the fam Bailey Storm” (Source)

animalsnaps: “We got an adoption approval notice for this beauty on my daughters 5th birthday yesterday. Never been on a leash or in a h...

Off: the-daddypaddy: disease-danger-darkness-silence: emptyheadgamer: pregnantseinfeld: hell world *sigh* Look, I’m as anti-profiteering as the next anarcho-communist, OK? But can you actually look up what’s fucking going on, y'all? Funko is donating all proceeds from these figurines, which, “includes medical professionals across different races and ethnicities, representing the impact of the pandemic across all spectrums,” to the GlobalGiving Coronavirus Relief fund, to help support frontline workers. GlobalGiving has a fantastic rating on Charity Navigator and is generally speaking a trustworthy organization. Funko is not making any actual profit off of these figurines. I hate capitalism. But for once, a company is actually putting their money where their mouth is. So like….can we not? Hey guys, reblog this please! Make sure not to spread misinformation around!

the-daddypaddy: disease-danger-darkness-silence: emptyheadgamer: pregnantseinfeld: hell world *sigh* Look, I’m as anti-profiteer...

Off: fire-for-u: kathelin: online-shopping—addiction: A SKY FULL OF STARS IN THE COMFORT OF HOME! Tired of outdated home decor concepts? Need new ideas? How about transforming your humble abode into a breathtaking starry night - every night…and day? Say an astronomical hello to the Galaxy Projector, the latest innovation from the minds at The Aesthetic Shop. The Galaxy Projector is an advanced holographic creation, small in size yet mighty in power. This mini laser star projector turns your home into an inspiring planetarium, with all the music and lights to go with it. REDUCE STRESS & ANXIETY. Studies show lights such that mimic stars help reduce stress and anxiety. Lie in bed and contemplate life’s intricacies as you observe Earth’s cosmos –> GET YOURS HERE WITH 50% OFF ONLY THE NEXT 24 HOURS <– Omg! This is the prettiest thing that i’ve see today!! I just ordered one! I can’t wait to get mine!! ❤️️❤️️❤️️ I love the ambience of this light for movie nights! There are multiple settings and colors that you can choose from on the remote. You can either have the option of the stars alone or clouds, or a combo of both. You can have a still setting or set it to a “wave” so that the clouds are moving. It also works as a Bluetooth speaker and the sound quality is pretty good for a lamp projector.

fire-for-u: kathelin: online-shopping—addiction: A SKY FULL OF STARS IN THE COMFORT OF HOME! Tired of outdated home decor concepts? Nee...

Off: Nickelodeon went off the air for 8 minutes and 46 seconds earlier this evening in support of justice, equality, and human rights 🙏 @Nickelodeon https://t.co/upMbszAqu7

Nickelodeon went off the air for 8 minutes and 46 seconds earlier this evening in support of justice, equality, and human rights 🙏 @Nicke...

Off: In days of worldwide uncertainty and fear, these animal memes will put an instant smile on your face and will allow your mind off the news, even if it's just for a few minutes. #cats #dogs #wholesome #wholesomememes #wholesomeanimals #cuteanimals

In days of worldwide uncertainty and fear, these animal memes will put an instant smile on your face and will allow your mind off the new...

Off: LeBron’s playmaking is really off the charts🔥 https://t.co/s8PTWymIcF

LeBron’s playmaking is really off the charts🔥 https://t.co/s8PTWymIcF

Off: relyonloveonceinawhile: whoopsrobots: equilateralwaffle: kotsuso: sophygurl: blindly-nostalgic: itseasytoremember: itseasytoremember: itseasytoremember: itseasytoremember: every day the same telemarketing company calls us. I’ve asked to be taken off their calling list, I’ve tried to be civil, I’ve even tried to not answer the phone, yet they’ll keep calling. So now I’ve resorted to making the phones calls as annoying as possible for them. Today I asked the person to hold while I got a pen and paper. As of now, they’ve been waiting 45 minutes. Update: I just asked him if he was still there, then when he said yes i told him i had found a pen but no paper, but that i’m still looking. It’s been an hour. I HAVE LITERALLY BEEN ON TUMBLR AND YOUTUBE WHILE THIS GUY WAITS. IT’S BEEN ALMOST AN HOUR AND A HALF Update: After an hour and 35 minutes I told him that i had found paper, but my pen was dead. He hung up. Ah well, i’ll just do it again tomorrow! You are the future As a former telemarketer, I can tell you that the only reason that guy hung on the line for so long was because he didn’t really want to make any more calls anyway and was probably reading a book or chatting with friends while you pretended to find paper and pen. He was enjoying your mischief as much, if not more, than you were. You literally gave this guy an acceptable reason to take an hour and a half break. You are his hero. He likely only finally hung up because it was officially his break time anyway. He probably told all his co-workers about your call and they’ll be laughing about it for weeks. Holy shit, is this a happy ending to a post where everybody actually wins? ACTUALLY YES because according to parental unit number one, telemarketers get paid by how long they’re on the phone with someone. so you were literally helping this friend get paid by doing absolutely shit vive la resistance Chaotic Good

relyonloveonceinawhile: whoopsrobots: equilateralwaffle: kotsuso: sophygurl: blindly-nostalgic: itseasytoremember: itseasytoremembe...

Off: The Draco sticker fell off my magnet.

The Draco sticker fell off my magnet.

Off: The Draco sticker fell off my magnet.

The Draco sticker fell off my magnet.

Off: crimethinc:Comrades in Minneapolis—this video from Chile shows how to extinguish tear gas canisters quickly, safely, and easily.To deal with tear gas canisters, take a water jug with a wide mouth, put a little baking soda, dish soap, and/or vegetable oil in the jug of water—3 tablespoons of each to 1 liter of water. Pick up the canister with protective gloves (it’s hot and can burn you!), drop it in the jug, and shake the jug while covering the top with your gloved hand just enough that the gas doesn’t get out. Don’t cover the top too tightly—you don’t want to make the jug explode.Don’t let the police or #COVID19 cut off your air supply. Fight back!#icantbreathe #GeorgeFloyd #Minneapolis

crimethinc:Comrades in Minneapolis—this video from Chile shows how to extinguish tear gas canisters quickly, safely, and easily.To deal w...

Off: thestraggletag: gleefully-macabre: gleefully-macabre: brawltogethernow: gingerhastoomanyobsessions: I can’t breathe Best wishes to these people obviously but I’m WHEEZING at the concept of a standard horror plot starter but the stranded travelers are an entire fully equipped orchestra. It’s the prequel to every other horror film. Their haunting spirits play the background music. Oh shoot, that actually would be a really cool concept. The film starts with no thematic music, and as each member of the orchestra is picked off, their instrument joins the soundtrack. Subtly, so you don’t really notice, and the end credits are a full orchestral symphony. DUUUUUDE

thestraggletag: gleefully-macabre: gleefully-macabre: brawltogethernow: gingerhastoomanyobsessions: I can’t breathe Best wishes to t...

Off: Went to Pet store to get some food for my cats, ended up laughing my ass off finding this

Went to Pet store to get some food for my cats, ended up laughing my ass off finding this

Off: Went to Pet store to get some food for my cats, ended up laughing my ass off finding this

Went to Pet store to get some food for my cats, ended up laughing my ass off finding this

Off: awesomesthesia: SoundLiberty 77 Bluetooth Earbuds Hi-Fi Stereo Sound High fidelity sound: 6mm peek + PU high fidelity dynamic driver offers a truly natural, authentic high fidelity sound IPX7 waterproof: high-level water-resistant makes the wireless earbuds resistant to sweat, water and rain. Last for over 5 hours’ playtime from a single charge with latest lower power consumption chip. $30 OFF - Nomarlly it’s $59.99, now it’s only $29.99 with code: BH077TB Free shipping within USA

awesomesthesia: SoundLiberty 77 Bluetooth Earbuds Hi-Fi Stereo Sound High fidelity sound: 6mm peek + PU high fidelity dynamic driver offe...

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