Had


                    
                    
                

                

                

            

        
    







            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    

                        


	

	
    
        

            

                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        Put
        

            
            Put
        

    

    

         
Put

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        From
        

            
            From
        

    

    

         
From

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        The
        

            
            The
        

    

    

         
The

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        Had Enough
        

            
            Had Enough
        

    

    

         
Had Enough

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        My Guy
        

            
            My Guy
        

    

    

         
My Guy

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        Where
        

            
            Where
        

    

    

         
Where

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        Not
        

            
            Not
        

    

    

         
Not

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        That
        

            
            That
        

    

    

         
That

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        When
        

            
            When
        

    

    

         
When

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        Safety
        

            
            Safety
        

    

    

         
Safety

    



                
            

        

    
    

        🔥 | Latest
    

    
    

        

        
        

            

                







    Had: ballet-royale:
midnight-spectrum-again:

thesaltofcarthage:

festivefeathers:

safifonhasstrel:

bundibird:

jehovahhthickness:

biggest-gaudiest-fish:


lipsredasroses:

mayothefirst:


madamehearthwitch:

thegrimmlovely:

riskpig:

endangeredslug:

riskpig:

teamseabreeze:

recycled-soul:

skywritingg:

iloveyournudity:

cuntsoloud-ishere:

pizzaforpresident:

This won’t make your blog look ugly. How could you not reblog this? REBLOGGING THIS COULD SAVE A LIFE!!!




This goes for assholes, too, guys. I know a couple who went tubing once, and they had to re-air their tubes, but the guy thought it would be funny to stick the tip of the air compressor up to her bikini trunks, the air ruptured something inside her and she died within thirty minutes.


WHAT?

The thing about this? It’s in every pregnancy book I’ve read.

WHAT?????


Why is it in pregnancy books but not sex ed books?

Because the men in charge only care about the health and safety of women in so far as it enables them to have babies.

https://www.healthline.com/health/air-embolism#outlook


Reblogging with a link because I thought this was a legit joke. Never heard it before. Like I knew you could kill a person by inserting air into a vein but still. 


WHAT THE FUCL I hate how I didn’t learn this in sex Ed AT ALL


This is very true lol 


Yo what the f u c k 






not the normal stuff i’d reblog but, uh, this is kinda??? heckin???? important????? 

I feel like I first saw this in The Joy of Sex, but it’s definitely a thing.



What the fuck



I’m ace but here you guys go

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Had: ballet-royale:
midnight-spectrum-again:

thesaltofcarthage:

festivefeathers:

safifonhasstrel:

bundibird:

jehovahhthickness:

biggest-gaudiest-fish:


lipsredasroses:

mayothefirst:


madamehearthwitch:

thegrimmlovely:

riskpig:

endangeredslug:

riskpig:

teamseabreeze:

recycled-soul:

skywritingg:

iloveyournudity:

cuntsoloud-ishere:

pizzaforpresident:

This won’t make your blog look ugly. How could you not reblog this? REBLOGGING THIS COULD SAVE A LIFE!!!




This goes for assholes, too, guys. I know a couple who went tubing once, and they had to re-air their tubes, but the guy thought it would be funny to stick the tip of the air compressor up to her bikini trunks, the air ruptured something inside her and she died within thirty minutes.


WHAT?

The thing about this? It’s in every pregnancy book I’ve read.

WHAT?????


Why is it in pregnancy books but not sex ed books?

Because the men in charge only care about the health and safety of women in so far as it enables them to have babies.

https://www.healthline.com/health/air-embolism#outlook


Reblogging with a link because I thought this was a legit joke. Never heard it before. Like I knew you could kill a person by inserting air into a vein but still. 


WHAT THE FUCL I hate how I didn’t learn this in sex Ed AT ALL


This is very true lol 


Yo what the f u c k 






not the normal stuff i’d reblog but, uh, this is kinda??? heckin???? important????? 

I feel like I first saw this in The Joy of Sex, but it’s definitely a thing.



What the fuck



I’m ace but here you guys go

                
            

            
            
ballet-royale:
midnight-spectrum-again:

thesaltofcarthage:

festivefeathers:

safifonhasstrel:

bundibird:

jehovahhthickness:

biggest-...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Had: i had mine in the hall of fame
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Had: i had mine in the hall of fame
                
            

            
            
i had mine in the hall of fame

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Had: I probably made over 5 forms that were just front end and had no function whatsoever
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Had: I probably made over 5 forms that were just front end and had no function whatsoever
                
            

            
            
I probably made over 5 forms that were just front end and had no function whatsoever

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Had: Aunt May’s had it up to here!
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Had: Aunt May’s had it up to here!
                
            

            
            
Aunt May’s had it up to here!

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Had: crispy-ghee:

3 of Cousin’s other children: Little Knife, Little Flame, and Naniandi. (aka, the last of the group of Cousin’s kids that I’ll draw because he has like 50 or something and I’m not designing all of them, I’m sorry. Feel free to pretend that your OC is Cousin’s kid, it’ll probably work out.)Little Knife:  Cousin’s youngest son and the last he had with Fury before she died. A cocky little shit sometimes, but with good reason. While smaller than all his sibs, his agility and stealth made him an asset to hunting parties. 

His relationship w/ Jagged-Tooth sucks. He and Kal'thnde are very close, tho, as Cousin was already aging and too busy chaperoning youngbloods to pay him as much attention as he should’ve, Kal and his sisters more or less raised him and got between him and Jagged-Tooth often.



Lauded for his nimbleness and his lightning speed while maintaining near-silence, he has become an asset in his hunting party. His abilities also make him sought after for off-world reconnaissance, where he travels to planets to review and evaluate their suitability for hunting.Little Knife is one of the 20 or so Yautja who join Cousin to form the Yautja Faction, against the orders of the Elder Council. 12 of his brothers also form the team, including Jagged-Tooth and Kal’thnde. Little Flame: 

Celebrated Huntress, Several times Champion of inter-tribal games and so coveted and beloved beyond her own clan. Aggressive, abrasive, but loyal, like her father in his youth. Little Flame is close to Kal and Little Knife, and was one of Cousin’s children that fought against Jagged-Tooth’s bad attitude–ballsy, as he’s biotic. She and the eldest brother never really learned to get along, but there is begrudging respect for each others achievements.

Little Flame basically saved her father’s life when at one point she heard whispers that some elders were speaking of sending Enforcers or some other group of Hunters to go after Cousin and his Renegades. She sent him warnings, and killed most of the would-be trackers herself.Naniandi: 

Cousin’s eldest Daughter. Sometimes called Furious Patience, a play on her mother’s name (Patient Fury), since she’s so much like her. One of the tribe matriarchs, and often invited alongside the tribe’s elders to speak diplomacy with other clans when needed. Naniandi is the closest Jagged-Tooth is to any of his family, maybe having to do w/ how much like his mother she is, even though she is a century or so younger than him. She’s basically all around respected by everyone in Cousin’s family, as well as their overall clan

It’s Naniandi’s influence and hard work that made it possible for Cousin and the remainder of the Yautja faction to return to Homeworld after they’d disgraced themselves to go fight alongside Shepard. She ultimately convinced the elders to reinstate honor and title to her father.

Yautja joke (but only a little) about wishing to birth armies. Compared to others his age, Cousin only has a moderate amount of offspring, but those that survived into his old age came out fierce, capable, and loyal to their family. It’s thanks to them he could be with Shepard.


    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Had: crispy-ghee:

3 of Cousin’s other children: Little Knife, Little Flame, and Naniandi. (aka, the last of the group of Cousin’s kids that I’ll draw because he has like 50 or something and I’m not designing all of them, I’m sorry. Feel free to pretend that your OC is Cousin’s kid, it’ll probably work out.)Little Knife:  Cousin’s youngest son and the last he had with Fury before she died. A cocky little shit sometimes, but with good reason. While smaller than all his sibs, his agility and stealth made him an asset to hunting parties. 

His relationship w/ Jagged-Tooth sucks. He and Kal'thnde are very close, tho, as Cousin was already aging and too busy chaperoning youngbloods to pay him as much attention as he should’ve, Kal and his sisters more or less raised him and got between him and Jagged-Tooth often.



Lauded for his nimbleness and his lightning speed while maintaining near-silence, he has become an asset in his hunting party. His abilities also make him sought after for off-world reconnaissance, where he travels to planets to review and evaluate their suitability for hunting.Little Knife is one of the 20 or so Yautja who join Cousin to form the Yautja Faction, against the orders of the Elder Council. 12 of his brothers also form the team, including Jagged-Tooth and Kal’thnde. Little Flame: 

Celebrated Huntress, Several times Champion of inter-tribal games and so coveted and beloved beyond her own clan. Aggressive, abrasive, but loyal, like her father in his youth. Little Flame is close to Kal and Little Knife, and was one of Cousin’s children that fought against Jagged-Tooth’s bad attitude–ballsy, as he’s biotic. She and the eldest brother never really learned to get along, but there is begrudging respect for each others achievements.

Little Flame basically saved her father’s life when at one point she heard whispers that some elders were speaking of sending Enforcers or some other group of Hunters to go after Cousin and his Renegades. She sent him warnings, and killed most of the would-be trackers herself.Naniandi: 

Cousin’s eldest Daughter. Sometimes called Furious Patience, a play on her mother’s name (Patient Fury), since she’s so much like her. One of the tribe matriarchs, and often invited alongside the tribe’s elders to speak diplomacy with other clans when needed. Naniandi is the closest Jagged-Tooth is to any of his family, maybe having to do w/ how much like his mother she is, even though she is a century or so younger than him. She’s basically all around respected by everyone in Cousin’s family, as well as their overall clan

It’s Naniandi’s influence and hard work that made it possible for Cousin and the remainder of the Yautja faction to return to Homeworld after they’d disgraced themselves to go fight alongside Shepard. She ultimately convinced the elders to reinstate honor and title to her father.

Yautja joke (but only a little) about wishing to birth armies. Compared to others his age, Cousin only has a moderate amount of offspring, but those that survived into his old age came out fierce, capable, and loyal to their family. It’s thanks to them he could be with Shepard.


                
            

            
            
crispy-ghee:

3 of Cousin’s other children: Little Knife, Little Flame, and Naniandi. (aka, the last of the group of Cousin’s kids that I...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Had: what-even-is-thiss:

bobcatdump:

jaskiegg:

mellomaia:

aphony-cree:

beyoncescock:

gahdamnpunk:

Honestly!!! This is just psychological trauma in the making


THANK YOU

I’ve asked parents about this and they always say they are teaching the child responsibility and “respect for other people’s things.” If I point out that the child accidentally broke their own toy they always say “I bought them that toy” or “my sister gave that to them.”
The problem is that parents view all possessions as not really belonging to the child. A part of them always seems to think that the adult who provided the money is the real owner
If a parent breaks a dish they see it as breaking something that already belonged to them, but if a child breaks it they see it as the child breaking something that belonged to the parents 
People raising children need to realize that household possessions belong to the entire household. If everyone has to use that plate then it belongs to everyone and anyone can have a forgivable accident with it. It’s okay to deem certain possessions as just yours and ask everyone in the house to respect that, but extend the same respect to your child’s belongings

Big mood. I know most of these are talking about little little kids, but here’s a tale from middle school. I had forgotten to charge my phone one night, and this was back when cell phones used to beep loudly when they were low on battery. I kept hearing the noise throughout the afternoon and not recognizing what it was because I’d never heard it before. When I finally did realize what it was, I was in science class and my fellow classmates were making presentations. I reached into my bag to try to turn off the phone, and then the low-battery sound went off, loud enough for the teacher to hear it. She confiscated my phone in front of everyone, and I didn’t get it back until after the weekend because it was a Friday. I was really embarrassed, especially to tell my parents.
When I got my phone back that Monday, my teacher said it was important for me to learn this lesson now since in college they wouldn’t tolerate phones going off. Fast forward to when I was in college, any time someone’s phone went off, either the professor would tell them to turn it off, or they would say, “Oh, my bad,” and turn it off themselves, and everyone would move on. I even had a professor who danced around while someone’s phone went off, and it was a welcome moment of levity during the lecture. 
I say all this to say, one of the worst aspects of being a child/teen was adults assuming my intentions were malicious.



God I’ve been reading these posts for a while and each time I am struck with the realization that certainly not all parents were supposed to be a parent

“I say all this to say, one of the worst aspects of being a child/teen was adults assuming my intentions were malicious.”YES this



The problem is, even if families are forgiving the culture around children still effects the child. I use myself as proof of that. 
A few times between the ages of 4 and 18 I broke things. I broke my grandma’s favorite Christmas ornament. Her first question was: “Are you hurt?” and when I apologized profusely she said “I’m just glad you weren’t hurt.”
I broke a few plates. I broke a couple glasses. Every time my dad’s first response was “Did you get cut?” the second step was cleaning up the broken bits, and the third was a discussion of what led to me breaking it and how I could avoid doing that in the future.
Same with spills. Same with stains. My biggest “punishment” from my immediate family was being taught how to clean up the mess I made and being shown in detail how to avoid the same mistake in the future if it was avoidable. There were consequences for my actions, but they were the direct result of those actions and nothing much beyond that.
My family tried so hard to teach me how to deal with accidents in a healthy way. They were patient. They treated every slip-up as a learning opportunity. They showed me a lot of love. The other adults still got to me. Teachers still punished and publicly shamed me and other students for our mess-ups. Extended family members outside of my small supportive circle still yelled at me. My friends’ parents still got mad.
To the point where whenever I messed up my first instinct was that my dad or grandparents were going to punish me, or yell at me, or hit me, even though they never did. They just didn’t. They always responded with patience and an attitude of “I’m glad you’re safe and I want to help you learn from this.” And I was still afraid of messing up. Mortified. Expecting the worst every time.
It’s like… we need to change the culture around this, man. Completely. 

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Had: what-even-is-thiss:

bobcatdump:

jaskiegg:

mellomaia:

aphony-cree:

beyoncescock:

gahdamnpunk:

Honestly!!! This is just psychological trauma in the making


THANK YOU

I’ve asked parents about this and they always say they are teaching the child responsibility and “respect for other people’s things.” If I point out that the child accidentally broke their own toy they always say “I bought them that toy” or “my sister gave that to them.”
The problem is that parents view all possessions as not really belonging to the child. A part of them always seems to think that the adult who provided the money is the real owner
If a parent breaks a dish they see it as breaking something that already belonged to them, but if a child breaks it they see it as the child breaking something that belonged to the parents 
People raising children need to realize that household possessions belong to the entire household. If everyone has to use that plate then it belongs to everyone and anyone can have a forgivable accident with it. It’s okay to deem certain possessions as just yours and ask everyone in the house to respect that, but extend the same respect to your child’s belongings

Big mood. I know most of these are talking about little little kids, but here’s a tale from middle school. I had forgotten to charge my phone one night, and this was back when cell phones used to beep loudly when they were low on battery. I kept hearing the noise throughout the afternoon and not recognizing what it was because I’d never heard it before. When I finally did realize what it was, I was in science class and my fellow classmates were making presentations. I reached into my bag to try to turn off the phone, and then the low-battery sound went off, loud enough for the teacher to hear it. She confiscated my phone in front of everyone, and I didn’t get it back until after the weekend because it was a Friday. I was really embarrassed, especially to tell my parents.
When I got my phone back that Monday, my teacher said it was important for me to learn this lesson now since in college they wouldn’t tolerate phones going off. Fast forward to when I was in college, any time someone’s phone went off, either the professor would tell them to turn it off, or they would say, “Oh, my bad,” and turn it off themselves, and everyone would move on. I even had a professor who danced around while someone’s phone went off, and it was a welcome moment of levity during the lecture. 
I say all this to say, one of the worst aspects of being a child/teen was adults assuming my intentions were malicious.



God I’ve been reading these posts for a while and each time I am struck with the realization that certainly not all parents were supposed to be a parent

“I say all this to say, one of the worst aspects of being a child/teen was adults assuming my intentions were malicious.”YES this



The problem is, even if families are forgiving the culture around children still effects the child. I use myself as proof of that. 
A few times between the ages of 4 and 18 I broke things. I broke my grandma’s favorite Christmas ornament. Her first question was: “Are you hurt?” and when I apologized profusely she said “I’m just glad you weren’t hurt.”
I broke a few plates. I broke a couple glasses. Every time my dad’s first response was “Did you get cut?” the second step was cleaning up the broken bits, and the third was a discussion of what led to me breaking it and how I could avoid doing that in the future.
Same with spills. Same with stains. My biggest “punishment” from my immediate family was being taught how to clean up the mess I made and being shown in detail how to avoid the same mistake in the future if it was avoidable. There were consequences for my actions, but they were the direct result of those actions and nothing much beyond that.
My family tried so hard to teach me how to deal with accidents in a healthy way. They were patient. They treated every slip-up as a learning opportunity. They showed me a lot of love. The other adults still got to me. Teachers still punished and publicly shamed me and other students for our mess-ups. Extended family members outside of my small supportive circle still yelled at me. My friends’ parents still got mad.
To the point where whenever I messed up my first instinct was that my dad or grandparents were going to punish me, or yell at me, or hit me, even though they never did. They just didn’t. They always responded with patience and an attitude of “I’m glad you’re safe and I want to help you learn from this.” And I was still afraid of messing up. Mortified. Expecting the worst every time.
It’s like… we need to change the culture around this, man. Completely. 

                
            

            
            
what-even-is-thiss:

bobcatdump:

jaskiegg:

mellomaia:

aphony-cree:

beyoncescock:

gahdamnpunk:

Honestly!!! This is just psychologica...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Had: Had this happen to me today, thought I’d try to cheer up anyone who’s going through the same rough patch!
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Had: Had this happen to me today, thought I’d try to cheer up anyone who’s going through the same rough patch!
                
            

            
            
Had this happen to me today, thought I’d try to cheer up anyone who’s going through the same rough patch!

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Had: She had Nadia that was gonna happen
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Had: She had Nadia that was gonna happen
                
            

            
            
She had Nadia that was gonna happen

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Had: srsfunny:

I almost had it
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Had: srsfunny:

I almost had it
                
            

            
            
srsfunny:

I almost had it

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Had: awesomacious:

I had the best rock collection
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Had: awesomacious:

I had the best rock collection
                
            

            
            
awesomacious:

I had the best rock collection

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Had: “This little dude and I have had breakfast/lunch together everyday for the last 4 weeks, always bring him something to eat and he just sits next to me for my entire break at work. My dude.“ (Source)
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Had: “This little dude and I have had breakfast/lunch together everyday for the last 4 weeks, always bring him something to eat and he just sits next to me for my entire break at work. My dude.“ (Source)
                
            

            
            
“This little dude and I have had breakfast/lunch together everyday for the last 4 weeks, always bring him something to eat and he just si...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Had: Only If They Had Oil Though (not mine link in the comments)
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Had: Only If They Had Oil Though (not mine link in the comments)
                
            

            
            
Only If They Had Oil Though (not mine link in the comments)

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Had: Friend just had a baby, was not looking forward to all her baby pics on FB.. pleasantly surprised
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Had: Friend just had a baby, was not looking forward to all her baby pics on FB.. pleasantly surprised
                
            

            
            
Friend just had a baby, was not looking forward to all her baby pics on FB.. pleasantly surprised

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Had: Friend just had a baby, was not looking forward to all her baby pics on FB.. pleasantly surprised
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Had: Friend just had a baby, was not looking forward to all her baby pics on FB.. pleasantly surprised
                
            

            
            
Friend just had a baby, was not looking forward to all her baby pics on FB.. pleasantly surprised

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Had: justcatposts:
“My nephew had the best interruption while trying to do his homework“ 
(Source)

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Had: justcatposts:
“My nephew had the best interruption while trying to do his homework“ 
(Source)

                
                

                
            

            
            
justcatposts:
“My nephew had the best interruption while trying to do his homework“ 
(Source)


            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Had: I had to see this, now you have to as well by EvilPotato616
MORE MEMES
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Had: I had to see this, now you have to as well by EvilPotato616
MORE MEMES
                
            

            
            
I had to see this, now you have to as well by EvilPotato616
MORE MEMES

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Had: inquisitorhotpants:

burntcopper:

futureevilscientist:

optimysticals:

uovoc:

konec0:

sleepyferret:

shitfacedanon:

dat-soldier:

sonnetscrewdriver:

dat-soldier:

did-you-kno:

Source


back the fuck up


There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up.
So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him.
The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off.
Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes.


did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out


This just keeps getting better

I fucking love history.

ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok
so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire.
The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked.
On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap
When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro”
and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes
wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing.
and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave.
Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat. 
and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked.

Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river.
Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy. 
Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows.
Zhuge Liang is legend.

I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History.

If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff.
Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this:
Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang

I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes.

Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Had: inquisitorhotpants:

burntcopper:

futureevilscientist:

optimysticals:

uovoc:

konec0:

sleepyferret:

shitfacedanon:

dat-soldier:

sonnetscrewdriver:

dat-soldier:

did-you-kno:

Source


back the fuck up


There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up.
So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him.
The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off.
Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes.


did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out


This just keeps getting better

I fucking love history.

ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok
so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire.
The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked.
On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap
When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro”
and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes
wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing.
and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave.
Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat. 
and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked.

Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river.
Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy. 
Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows.
Zhuge Liang is legend.

I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History.

If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff.
Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this:
Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang

I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes.

Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D

                
            

            
            
inquisitorhotpants:

burntcopper:

futureevilscientist:

optimysticals:

uovoc:

konec0:

sleepyferret:

shitfacedanon:

dat-soldier:

so...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Had: shoucolate:

This joke had been stuck in me for weeks.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Had: shoucolate:

This joke had been stuck in me for weeks.
                
            

            
            
shoucolate:

This joke had been stuck in me for weeks.

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Had: lyrica-in-nerdvana:
daysofstorm:

pilgrim-soulinyou:

jeremyyyallan:

fagraklett:

Chinese emperor Ai of Han, fell in love with a minor official, a man named Dong Xian, and bestowed upon him great political power and a magnificent palace. Legend has it that one day while the two men were sleeping in the same bed, the emperor was roused from his sleep by pressing business. Dong Xian had fallen asleep across the emperor’s robe, but rather than awaken his peaceful lover, the Emperor cut his robe free at the sleeve. Thus “the passion of the cut sleeve” became a euphemism for same-sex love in China. — R.G.L.


get you a dude who will fuck up his own clothing for you

NO OKAY THIS IS REALLY COOL SO SHUT UP AND LISTEN KIDS. Ancient China was super chill about homosexuality okay. Like we have gay emperors and feudal lords, lesbian princesses who were girlfriends with their serving maids, gay ass poets who wrote lots of poems about that one courtesan who played the guzheng so well.In fact homosexuality was so okay that in Shiji, which is basically the Bible of Ancient Chinese history, there is an entire section dedicated to the gay lovers of emperors. What’s the best part? All the laws and criticism about homosexuality in Ancient China were all about shit like prostitution and rape. These laws were  outlawing homosexual stuff were all very specific. For example, there were laws banning male prostitution, but no laws against homosexuality. These laws were passed to stop the spread of prostitution and laws targeting prostitution in general were pretty common in Chinese history. There were also really strict laws about male rape. Rape was punishable by death, regardless of the gender of the victim. Rape a girl, you die. Rape a guy, you die. Have sex with a minor, you die regardless of whether it was consensual. The lightest sentence you could get was slavery where you were bound to the army.Also scholars wrote essays criticising the boyfriends of emperors, saying that they distracted the emperor from work blah blah blah but THEY ALSO DID THE SAME FOR THE CONCUBINES. That’s right - the issue wasn’t homosexuality but rather the hormones of the emperor. They didn’t care about the gender of the emperor’s favourite lover but rather the fact that the emperor was too horny to get shit done.“But WAIT, Modern China is a hardass about homosexuality!!!! How do you explain that!”Yes. That. That’s because of the late Qing years where Western influences entered the country and brought their gross ass homophobic attitudes with them. And the Qing government was so anxious to seem modern and be seen as equals to their Western counterparts. So they adopted Western ways and discarded their previous attitudes about homosexuality. Hence you have Modern China.So the next time someone tries to tell you that being LGBT is wrong because it goes against traditional Chinese values, tell them to go fuck themselves with 3000 years of Chinese queerness. 

Here are all the illustrations of historical gay couples by Ryan Grant https://www.advocate.com/arts-entertainment/artist-spotlight/2012/08/11/ryan-grant-longs-history-gay-love#slide-0


This is one of the best things I have ever read.

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Had: lyrica-in-nerdvana:
daysofstorm:

pilgrim-soulinyou:

jeremyyyallan:

fagraklett:

Chinese emperor Ai of Han, fell in love with a minor official, a man named Dong Xian, and bestowed upon him great political power and a magnificent palace. Legend has it that one day while the two men were sleeping in the same bed, the emperor was roused from his sleep by pressing business. Dong Xian had fallen asleep across the emperor’s robe, but rather than awaken his peaceful lover, the Emperor cut his robe free at the sleeve. Thus “the passion of the cut sleeve” became a euphemism for same-sex love in China. — R.G.L.


get you a dude who will fuck up his own clothing for you

NO OKAY THIS IS REALLY COOL SO SHUT UP AND LISTEN KIDS. Ancient China was super chill about homosexuality okay. Like we have gay emperors and feudal lords, lesbian princesses who were girlfriends with their serving maids, gay ass poets who wrote lots of poems about that one courtesan who played the guzheng so well.In fact homosexuality was so okay that in Shiji, which is basically the Bible of Ancient Chinese history, there is an entire section dedicated to the gay lovers of emperors. What’s the best part? All the laws and criticism about homosexuality in Ancient China were all about shit like prostitution and rape. These laws were  outlawing homosexual stuff were all very specific. For example, there were laws banning male prostitution, but no laws against homosexuality. These laws were passed to stop the spread of prostitution and laws targeting prostitution in general were pretty common in Chinese history. There were also really strict laws about male rape. Rape was punishable by death, regardless of the gender of the victim. Rape a girl, you die. Rape a guy, you die. Have sex with a minor, you die regardless of whether it was consensual. The lightest sentence you could get was slavery where you were bound to the army.Also scholars wrote essays criticising the boyfriends of emperors, saying that they distracted the emperor from work blah blah blah but THEY ALSO DID THE SAME FOR THE CONCUBINES. That’s right - the issue wasn’t homosexuality but rather the hormones of the emperor. They didn’t care about the gender of the emperor’s favourite lover but rather the fact that the emperor was too horny to get shit done.“But WAIT, Modern China is a hardass about homosexuality!!!! How do you explain that!”Yes. That. That’s because of the late Qing years where Western influences entered the country and brought their gross ass homophobic attitudes with them. And the Qing government was so anxious to seem modern and be seen as equals to their Western counterparts. So they adopted Western ways and discarded their previous attitudes about homosexuality. Hence you have Modern China.So the next time someone tries to tell you that being LGBT is wrong because it goes against traditional Chinese values, tell them to go fuck themselves with 3000 years of Chinese queerness. 

Here are all the illustrations of historical gay couples by Ryan Grant https://www.advocate.com/arts-entertainment/artist-spotlight/2012/08/11/ryan-grant-longs-history-gay-love#slide-0


This is one of the best things I have ever read.

                
            

            
            
lyrica-in-nerdvana:
daysofstorm:

pilgrim-soulinyou:

jeremyyyallan:

fagraklett:

Chinese emperor Ai of Han, fell in love with a minor o...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Had: justanartsysideblog:

So our DnD group came across an Orc pin-up that of course a bunch of useless Lesbians kept. So I had to draw her in all her glory.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Had: justanartsysideblog:

So our DnD group came across an Orc pin-up that of course a bunch of useless Lesbians kept. So I had to draw her in all her glory.
                
            

            
            
justanartsysideblog:

So our DnD group came across an Orc pin-up that of course a bunch of useless Lesbians kept. So I had to draw her in...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Had: papa-abel:

I had to take 90 minutes today as a break and scrawl thisArdrana GoreadzeOrc. Trans. Lesbian26. 8ft. TravellerCurrently single and ready to SMASH
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Had: papa-abel:

I had to take 90 minutes today as a break and scrawl thisArdrana GoreadzeOrc. Trans. Lesbian26. 8ft. TravellerCurrently single and ready to SMASH
                
            

            
            
papa-abel:

I had to take 90 minutes today as a break and scrawl thisArdrana GoreadzeOrc. Trans. Lesbian26. 8ft. TravellerCurrently singl...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Had: eepoxdraws:

Updated
 the first ever portrait I had done of Manata to better reflect how I 
imagine her now, and to have it match better the upcoming Mag'har model.Before - after
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Had: eepoxdraws:

Updated
 the first ever portrait I had done of Manata to better reflect how I 
imagine her now, and to have it match better the upcoming Mag'har model.Before - after
                
            

            
            
eepoxdraws:

Updated
 the first ever portrait I had done of Manata to better reflect how I 
imagine her now, and to have it match better...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Had: srsfunny:

They had us in the first half, not gonna lie
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Had: srsfunny:

They had us in the first half, not gonna lie
                
            

            
            
srsfunny:

They had us in the first half, not gonna lie

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Had: She wishes she had a boyfriend that hot
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Had: She wishes she had a boyfriend that hot
                
            

            
            
She wishes she had a boyfriend that hot

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Had: She wishes she had a boyfriend that hot by ikennaezeee
MORE MEMES
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Had: She wishes she had a boyfriend that hot by ikennaezeee
MORE MEMES
                
            

            
            
She wishes she had a boyfriend that hot by ikennaezeee
MORE MEMES

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Had: eepoxdraws:


After writing my first story from the conservative point of view of  
Manata’s mother Korgata, I had to dedicate some art to her!
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Had: eepoxdraws:


After writing my first story from the conservative point of view of  
Manata’s mother Korgata, I had to dedicate some art to her!
                
            

            
            
eepoxdraws:


After writing my first story from the conservative point of view of  
Manata’s mother Korgata, I had to dedicate some art t...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Had: they had us in the first half ngl
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Had: they had us in the first half ngl
                
            

            
            
they had us in the first half ngl

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Had: they had us in the first half ngl by Buck_Morrison88
MORE MEMES
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Had: they had us in the first half ngl by Buck_Morrison88
MORE MEMES
                
            

            
            
they had us in the first half ngl by Buck_Morrison88
MORE MEMES

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Had: auldtownerode:
turns out nobody had 2020 vision
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Had: auldtownerode:
turns out nobody had 2020 vision
                
            

            
            
auldtownerode:
turns out nobody had 2020 vision

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Had: After making the front page of reddit, my wife told me “you’ve had your fun, now cut your hair!”
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Had: After making the front page of reddit, my wife told me “you’ve had your fun, now cut your hair!”
                
            

            
            
After making the front page of reddit, my wife told me “you’ve had your fun, now cut your hair!”

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Had: After making the front page of reddit, my wife told me “you’ve had your fun, now cut your hair!”
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Had: After making the front page of reddit, my wife told me “you’ve had your fun, now cut your hair!”
                
            

            
            
After making the front page of reddit, my wife told me “you’ve had your fun, now cut your hair!”

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Had: I wish i had those
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Had: I wish i had those
                
            

            
            
I wish i had those

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Had: Definitely the best start to a convo I’ve ever had.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Had: Definitely the best start to a convo I’ve ever had.
                
            

            
            
Definitely the best start to a convo I’ve ever had.

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Had: Man really had his hopes up
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Had: Man really had his hopes up
                
            

            
            
Man really had his hopes up