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Tumblr, Blog, and Com: fakehistory: Creation of Man. 2000 BC
Tumblr, Blog, and Com: fakehistory:

Creation of Man. 2000 BC

fakehistory: Creation of Man. 2000 BC

Android, Apple, and Complex: Phoebe News @holiestbritney Then why do android snapchat stories look like surveillance tapes #KanyeForPresident @The. Man94 Apple giving y'all 12mpxl cameras in 2016 and Samsung gave us 16mpxl cameras in 2013 lol someone is getting duped 9/9/15, 2:54 PM 2,040 RETWEETS 1,646 FAVORITES drakeshady: I know most people don’t care, but here’s the real answer. Snapchat built a shitty Android app. On iOS, Snapchat uses the phone’s camera directly to take a picture, ensuring the highest possible quality. On Android, Snapchat opens the camera, but then takes a screenshot, instead of telling the camera to take a picture. This means that the camera never gets to adjust it’s focus and lighting, or provide stabilization to the picture. Instead, you get the best that shaky human hands can get, which means low quality pictures. Due to the popularity of Snapchat, this difference actually spreads the superiority complex of iOS. Android manufacturers have been innovating new hardware since the creation of cell phones. Apple only upgrades when they’re worried about being seen as outdated, or they need “new features” to push their phone. It also shows that iPhones are a status symbol, that have no reason to be as expensive as they are. To be fair to Apple, they’ve built a consistent ecosystem. If you have an iPhone, you can pick up any other iPhone and know how it works. Android is different by design however, with literally anyone free to modify it as they want to. Whether that is to fit certain hardware, or add new features, or meet a specific artistic design, Android has more total devices, support for more hardware configurations (even laptops) and is available for anyone to use however they want. Snapchat made a deliberate poor design decision, and should shoulder the blame for their shitty app. But that would require supporting the largest userbase in the world over their elite base of iPhone users.
Android, Apple, and Complex: Phoebe News
 @holiestbritney
 Then why do android snapchat stories
 look like surveillance tapes
 #KanyeForPresident @The. Man94
 Apple giving y'all 12mpxl cameras in 2016 and
 Samsung gave us 16mpxl cameras in 2013 lol
 someone is getting duped
 9/9/15, 2:54 PM
 2,040 RETWEETS 1,646 FAVORITES
drakeshady:
I know most people don’t care, but here’s the real answer.
Snapchat built a shitty Android app. On iOS, Snapchat uses the phone’s camera directly to take a picture, ensuring the highest possible quality.
On Android, Snapchat opens the camera, but then takes a screenshot, instead of telling the camera to take a picture. This means that the camera never gets to adjust it’s focus and lighting, or provide stabilization to the picture. Instead, you get the best that shaky human hands can get, which means low quality pictures.
Due to the popularity of Snapchat, this difference actually spreads the superiority complex of iOS. Android manufacturers have been innovating new hardware since the creation of cell phones. Apple only upgrades when they’re worried about being seen as outdated, or they need “new features” to push their phone. It also shows that iPhones are a status symbol, that have no reason to be as expensive as they are.
To be fair to Apple, they’ve built a consistent ecosystem. If you have an iPhone, you can pick up any other iPhone and know how it works. Android is different by design however, with literally anyone free to modify it as they want to. Whether that is to fit certain hardware, or add new features, or meet a specific artistic design, Android has more total devices, support for more hardware configurations (even laptops) and is available for anyone to use however they want.
Snapchat made a deliberate poor design decision, and should shoulder the blame for their shitty app. But that would require supporting the largest userbase in the world over their elite base of iPhone users.

drakeshady: I know most people don’t care, but here’s the real answer. Snapchat built a shitty Android app. On iOS, Snapchat uses the phone’...

Anaconda, Assassination, and Books: gaypussyretard Hentai Murder of Archduke erdinand friendly-neighborhood-ehrhardt this image actually makes complete sense & that is a fucking trip & a half. the-sprock You can take it back even further to the Archudke's assassin just bumping into him deciding to get a sandwich. One man's need for lunch 100 years ago gave rise to tentacle porn half the world away. What a world. isaroseh Is anybody going to explain? No? Okay kemonododo 1. Archduke Ferndinand is murdered, causing World War 1. 2. The Allies win WW1, imposing the Treaty of Versailles on Germany 3. This causes tension between Germany and the rest of Europe, something Adolf Hitler takes advantage of and begins WW2. 4. Japan joins the axis in WW2 in order to expand their empire. 5. The Axis is defeated, and Japan comes under US occupation 6. American soldiers bring comic books, cartoons, and other American mediums to Japan which stay behind even after the occupation is over. 7. Post-WW2 Japan imposes strict censorship laws that include the banning of most conventional porn. 8. Japanese citizens retaliate by drawing comics with women having sex with vaguely penis-shaped objects like tentacles to exploit loopholes in the law. 9. It establishes itself as a fetish even after the laws are relaxed, and so Hentai was born. 60,940 notes How the Assassination of Archduke Franz Ferndinand led to the creation of Hentai
Anaconda, Assassination, and Books: gaypussyretard
 Hentai
 Murder of
 Archduke
 erdinand
 friendly-neighborhood-ehrhardt
 this image actually makes complete sense &
 that is a fucking trip & a half.
 the-sprock
 You can take it back even further to the
 Archudke's assassin just bumping into him
 deciding to get a sandwich. One man's need
 for lunch 100 years ago gave rise to tentacle
 porn half the world away. What a world.
 isaroseh
 Is anybody going to explain?
 No? Okay
 kemonododo
 1. Archduke Ferndinand is murdered,
 causing World War 1.
 2. The Allies win WW1, imposing the Treaty
 of Versailles on Germany
 3. This causes tension between Germany
 and the rest of Europe, something Adolf
 Hitler takes advantage of and begins WW2.
 4. Japan joins the axis in WW2 in order to
 expand their empire.
 5. The Axis is defeated, and Japan comes
 under US occupation
 6. American soldiers bring comic books,
 cartoons, and other American mediums
 to Japan which stay behind even after the
 occupation is over.
 7. Post-WW2 Japan imposes strict
 censorship laws that include the banning of
 most conventional porn.
 8. Japanese citizens retaliate by drawing
 comics with women having sex with vaguely
 penis-shaped objects like tentacles to
 exploit loopholes in the law.
 9. It establishes itself as a fetish even after
 the laws are relaxed, and so Hentai was born.
 60,940 notes
How the Assassination of Archduke Franz Ferndinand led to the creation of Hentai

How the Assassination of Archduke Franz Ferndinand led to the creation of Hentai

Android, Apple, and Complex: Phoebe News @holiestbritney Then why do android snapchat stories look like surveillance tapes #KanyeForPresident @The. Man94 Apple giving y'all 12mpxl cameras in 2016 and Samsung gave us 16mpxl cameras in 2013 lol someone is getting duped 9/9/15, 2:54 PM 2,040 RETWEETS 1,646 FAVORITES drakeshady: I know most people don’t care, but here’s the real answer. Snapchat built a shitty Android app. On iOS, Snapchat uses the phone’s camera directly to take a picture, ensuring the highest possible quality. On Android, Snapchat opens the camera, but then takes a screenshot, instead of telling the camera to take a picture. This means that the camera never gets to adjust it’s focus and lighting, or provide stabilization to the picture. Instead, you get the best that shaky human hands can get, which means low quality pictures. Due to the popularity of Snapchat, this difference actually spreads the superiority complex of iOS. Android manufacturers have been innovating new hardware since the creation of cell phones. Apple only upgrades when they’re worried about being seen as outdated, or they need “new features” to push their phone. It also shows that iPhones are a status symbol, that have no reason to be as expensive as they are. To be fair to Apple, they’ve built a consistent ecosystem. If you have an iPhone, you can pick up any other iPhone and know how it works. Android is different by design however, with literally anyone free to modify it as they want to. Whether that is to fit certain hardware, or add new features, or meet a specific artistic design, Android has more total devices, support for more hardware configurations (even laptops) and is available for anyone to use however they want. Snapchat made a deliberate poor design decision, and should shoulder the blame for their shitty app. But that would require supporting the largest userbase in the world over their elite base of iPhone users.
Android, Apple, and Complex: Phoebe News
 @holiestbritney
 Then why do android snapchat stories
 look like surveillance tapes
 #KanyeForPresident @The. Man94
 Apple giving y'all 12mpxl cameras in 2016 and
 Samsung gave us 16mpxl cameras in 2013 lol
 someone is getting duped
 9/9/15, 2:54 PM
 2,040 RETWEETS 1,646 FAVORITES
drakeshady:

I know most people don’t care, but here’s the real answer.
Snapchat built a shitty Android app. On iOS, Snapchat uses the phone’s camera directly to take a picture, ensuring the highest possible quality.
On Android, Snapchat opens the camera, but then takes a screenshot, instead of telling the camera to take a picture. This means that the camera never gets to adjust it’s focus and lighting, or provide stabilization to the picture. Instead, you get the best that shaky human hands can get, which means low quality pictures.
Due to the popularity of Snapchat, this difference actually spreads the superiority complex of iOS. Android manufacturers have been innovating new hardware since the creation of cell phones. Apple only upgrades when they’re worried about being seen as outdated, or they need “new features” to push their phone. It also shows that iPhones are a status symbol, that have no reason to be as expensive as they are.
To be fair to Apple, they’ve built a consistent ecosystem. If you have an iPhone, you can pick up any other iPhone and know how it works. Android is different by design however, with literally anyone free to modify it as they want to. Whether that is to fit certain hardware, or add new features, or meet a specific artistic design, Android has more total devices, support for more hardware configurations (even laptops) and is available for anyone to use however they want.
Snapchat made a deliberate poor design decision, and should shoulder the blame for their shitty app. But that would require supporting the largest userbase in the world over their elite base of iPhone users.

drakeshady: I know most people don’t care, but here’s the real answer. Snapchat built a shitty Android app. On iOS, Snapchat uses the phone...

Bad, Beer, and Butt: yveinthesky: earthgirl2788: neveratrest: gallusrostromegalus: allthingshyper: gallusrostromegalus: soup-that-is-2-hot: everything-is-stickers: brummbart: Wasserspeier am Freiburger Münster WINTER IS A BAD TIME. What it feels like to chew 5 Gum IT’S MY FAVORITE GARGOYLE BACK AGAIN FOR WINTERTIME. I want to know the exact conversation that lead to the creation of this abomination Ye olde German architect: “ok, it’s time to put in the rainspouts and last night I was out with the lads and Hans had too much and the point is I had the FUNNIEST idea…” *Holds up drawing* Ye olde German Architect Supervisor: * snorts beer out of his nose.* “YES. BUILD IT IMMEDIATELY.” That’s gussy babe Sooooo I just came back from studying in Freiburg and went on a tour of the Münster with a historian who knew all of the insider secrets and the story is even better than you think.  It took more than 300 years to build the Freiburger Münster (1200s-1500s), so they went through a lot of architects and people who paid those architects. Some of the patrons were dicks and one of those dicks lived in a house right next to the Münster. The asshat kept demanding they work faster and changed his mind every five hours about what he wanted and THEN he refused to pay the architects because he wasn’t happy with what they’d done.  That really pissed the builders off so in retaliation, the head architect built the butt gargoyle facing his house so that every morning for the rest of his life, when the dick looked out his window at the Münster, he’d have to look at a gargoyle butt. So, the defecating gargoyle is a big fat “fuck you” to someone’s dick of a boss that has survived 500 years and two world wars  *standing ovation*
Bad, Beer, and Butt: yveinthesky:
earthgirl2788:

neveratrest:

gallusrostromegalus:

allthingshyper:


gallusrostromegalus:


soup-that-is-2-hot:

everything-is-stickers:


brummbart:
Wasserspeier am Freiburger Münster
WINTER IS A BAD TIME.


What it feels like to chew 5 Gum

IT’S MY FAVORITE GARGOYLE BACK AGAIN FOR WINTERTIME.


I want to know the exact conversation that lead to the creation of this abomination


Ye olde German architect: “ok, it’s time to put in the rainspouts and last night I was out with the lads and Hans had too much and the point is I had the FUNNIEST idea…” *Holds up drawing*
Ye olde German Architect Supervisor: * snorts beer out of his nose.* “YES.  BUILD IT IMMEDIATELY.”


That’s gussy babe

Sooooo I just came back from studying in Freiburg and went on a tour of the Münster with a historian who knew all of the insider secrets and the story is even better than you think. 
It took more than 300 years to build the Freiburger Münster (1200s-1500s), so they went through a lot of architects and people who paid those architects. Some of the patrons were dicks and one of those dicks lived in a house right next to the Münster. The asshat kept demanding they work faster and changed his mind every five hours about what he wanted and THEN he refused to pay the architects because he wasn’t happy with what they’d done. 
That really pissed the builders off so in retaliation, the head architect built the butt gargoyle facing his house so that every morning for the rest of his life, when the dick looked out his window at the Münster, he’d have to look at a gargoyle butt.
So, the defecating gargoyle is a big fat “fuck you” to someone’s dick of a boss that has survived 500 years and two world wars 

*standing ovation*

yveinthesky: earthgirl2788: neveratrest: gallusrostromegalus: allthingshyper: gallusrostromegalus: soup-that-is-2-hot: everything-is...

Party, Target, and Tumblr: ABD ILLUSTRATES character art commissions STY MORE EXAMPLES A ABD-ILLUSTRATES-ART TUMBLR.COM ABD ILLUSTRATES character art commissions MORE EXAMPLES A ABD-ILLUSTRATES-ART.TUMBLR.COM SLAT COLOR ABD ILLUSTRATES 51/1o ABD ILLUSTRATES character art commissions MORE EXAMPLES A ABD-ILLUSTRATES-ART.TUMBLR.COM CELL TONE&SHADIG ABD ILLUSTRATES character art commissions MORE EXAMPLES A ABD-ILLUSTRATES-ART.TUMBLR.COM DIGITAL PAINTING OPTION ALSO AVAILABLE FOR SINGLE-CHARACTER ARTWORKS! 09/o3 USTRATES ABD ILLUSTRATES character art commissions PRICING LINEWORK FLAT COLOR CELL TONE DIGITAL +BACKGROUND: [SKETCHY/CLEAN) -SHRDING PAIGBRSEICE USTESINILEFHCLU FRACTION APPLIES TO SINGLE CHARA BASE PRICE LISTED IN LEFT COLUMNS HEADSHOT: E15 $20) E25 $30 E40 $55 E50 $65) TORSO E20 $25 E30 ($40) E5O ($65 E6O $75) FULL BODY;E25 $30) £35 $45) E6O $75) E7O s90) [BUY 1 CHARACTER, GET NEXT 3 HALF PRICE I 1/2 PRICE DEAL APPLIES TO EVERY 3 ADDITIONAL CHARACTERS REQUESTED FOLLOWING THE FIRST IN A SINGLE COMMISSION. E.G: IN A 7-CHARACTER COMMISSION, THE 1ST CHARACTER IS FULL PRICE; THE 2ND, 3RD AND 4TH ARE EACH HALF PRICE-THE DEAL THEN REPEATS, MAKING THE 5TH FULL PRICE, THE 6TH & 7TH HALF PRICE, ETC"] Λ л [ IF SEEKING LARGER GROUP SHOTS [EG:060 PARTY ARTWORK), FURTHER DEALS MAY BE VIABLE DEPENDING ON DESIRED ART STYLE, COMPOSITION, ETC.) л ^ [ ADDITIONAL BACKGROUND COSTS LISTED ABOVE ARE GUIDELINES AND MAY VARY DEPENDING ON DESIRED COMPLEXITY/LEVEL OF DETAIL, ETC.] abd-illustrates: ABD-illustrates’ Character Art Commissions! (EDIT: updated my rates to suit my current art style - go ahead and check out the latest work in my DeviantArt gallery or on my ArtBlog if you want to get a better idea of the options available!) Want a custom artwork of your favorite character, your OC, your DnD party, or any other such super cool creation? Well you’re in the right place! Here’s the rundown: Make sure that I have slots available by quickly checking out the description of my blog Read the terms under the cut! Anything unclear after reading through the T’s C’s? Feel free to hit up my askbox with any queries! Once you’re ready, send a request my way via email! (Address listed after TC’s below) FULL TERMS AND CONTACT INFO UNDER THE CUT! Keep reading
Party, Target, and Tumblr: ABD ILLUSTRATES
 character art commissions
 STY
 MORE EXAMPLES A ABD-ILLUSTRATES-ART TUMBLR.COM

 ABD ILLUSTRATES
 character art commissions
 MORE EXAMPLES A ABD-ILLUSTRATES-ART.TUMBLR.COM
 SLAT COLOR
 ABD ILLUSTRATES
 51/1o

 ABD ILLUSTRATES
 character art commissions
 MORE EXAMPLES A ABD-ILLUSTRATES-ART.TUMBLR.COM
 CELL TONE&SHADIG

 ABD ILLUSTRATES
 character art commissions
 MORE EXAMPLES A ABD-ILLUSTRATES-ART.TUMBLR.COM
 DIGITAL PAINTING
 OPTION ALSO AVAILABLE FOR SINGLE-CHARACTER ARTWORKS!
 09/o3
 USTRATES

 ABD ILLUSTRATES
 character art commissions
 PRICING
 LINEWORK FLAT COLOR CELL TONE DIGITAL +BACKGROUND:
 [SKETCHY/CLEAN)
 -SHRDING PAIGBRSEICE USTESINILEFHCLU
 FRACTION APPLIES TO SINGLE CHARA
 BASE PRICE LISTED IN LEFT COLUMNS
 HEADSHOT: E15
 $20)
 E25
 $30
 E40
 $55
 E50
 $65)
 TORSO E20
 $25
 E30
 ($40)
 E5O
 ($65
 E6O
 $75)
 FULL BODY;E25
 $30)
 £35
 $45)
 E6O
 $75)
 E7O
 s90)
 [BUY 1 CHARACTER, GET NEXT 3 HALF PRICE
 I 1/2 PRICE DEAL APPLIES TO EVERY 3 ADDITIONAL CHARACTERS REQUESTED FOLLOWING THE FIRST IN A SINGLE COMMISSION. E.G: IN A 7-CHARACTER COMMISSION, THE
 1ST CHARACTER IS FULL PRICE; THE 2ND, 3RD AND 4TH ARE EACH HALF PRICE-THE DEAL THEN REPEATS, MAKING THE 5TH FULL PRICE, THE 6TH & 7TH HALF PRICE, ETC"] Λ
 л [ IF SEEKING LARGER GROUP SHOTS [EG:060 PARTY ARTWORK), FURTHER DEALS MAY BE VIABLE DEPENDING ON DESIRED ART STYLE, COMPOSITION, ETC.) л
 ^ [ ADDITIONAL BACKGROUND COSTS LISTED ABOVE ARE GUIDELINES AND MAY VARY DEPENDING ON DESIRED COMPLEXITY/LEVEL OF DETAIL, ETC.]
abd-illustrates:

ABD-illustrates’ Character Art Commissions!
(EDIT: updated my rates to suit my current art style - go ahead and check out the latest work in my DeviantArt gallery or on my ArtBlog if you want to get a better idea of the options available!)
Want a custom artwork of your favorite character, your OC, your DnD party, or any other such super cool creation? Well you’re in the right place!
Here’s the rundown:

Make sure that I have slots available by quickly checking out the description of my blog

Read the terms under the cut!
Anything unclear after reading through the T’s  C’s? Feel free to hit up my askbox with any queries!
Once you’re ready, send a request my way via email! (Address listed after TC’s below)
FULL TERMS AND CONTACT INFO UNDER THE CUT! Keep reading

abd-illustrates: ABD-illustrates’ Character Art Commissions! (EDIT: updated my rates to suit my current art style - go ahead and check out ...