case


                    
                    
                

                

                

            

        
    







            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    

                        


	

	
    
        

            

                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        First Time
        

            
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First Time

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

         boyfriends
        

            
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 boyfriends

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

         squirrels
        

            
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 squirrels

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

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 give her

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

         solution
        

            
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         dollars
        

            
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        just in case
        

            
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just in case

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        reasons
        

            
            reasons
        

    

    

         
reasons

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        suspension
        

            
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suspension

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

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democratic

    



                
            

        

    
    

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    Animals, Arguing, and Bad: Please don't do this to your fur babies
 This is what the other side of de-clawing a cat looks like...
 You literally cut the tips of their toes off. They will never
 walk correctly. They will inevitably get arthritis as a result. It
 hurts. They don't understand what happened to them. If you
 don't like claws: don't own a damn cat.
c-r-y-p-t-i-d-s:
dreamyluigi-anti:


sans-hates-frans:

del-the-masked-thing:

cottoncandycan:

therevenantrising:

cisnowflake:

artemuscain-gamingandbs:

constable-nugget:

xprmnt626:


socialjusticeichigo:

veterinaryrambles:

babyanimalgifs:
THIS IS IMPORTANT
This message is veterinarian-approved!!!

In case it isn’t clear, that is literally the last bone of a cat’s toes attached to those claws. If you thought only the claw was being removed during declaw surgery, you are unfortunately mistaken. It’s an amputation.


Get claw caps instead! They stay on pretty well and your cat can walk around normally. You can take them off whenever you want. This is great for house cats. They don’t need their claws for defense but they need them to walk the way we need toes. This keeps them from scratching you or furniture and keeps them happy and healthy. It’s a win for everyone. Plus your cat will look like it got a kitty manicure. 


Reblogging again for the last comment, for anyone who wants to argue about saving their precious furniture.  Boom!  Problem solved.

I regularly trim my cat’s claws because I love him

They’re super cheap too!


Not really a cat person, but this is still important.

PLS DONT REMOVE UR CATS TOE BONES


T o e  b o n e s  r  i m p o r t a n t


The second cat my family ever owned was declawed, and she suffered GREATLY from arthritis in her last few years. She could barely get into her own litterbox and she often went on the carpet because of this. She died in my mom’s arms, obviously in pain.
DO. NOT. DECLAW. YOUR. CATS.

DON’T FUCKING DECLAW YOUR CATS! 
THAT SHIT SHOULD BE CHARGED AS ANIMAL ABUSE


Reblogging here instead of just commenting:
Please dont use claw caps on cats.  Claw caps are meant for claws that are out 24/7; like a dogs claws. Cats are not like dogs…. again.
Cat claws retract.   And like some of the comments on this very post say, on cats they have to be superglued on, because cats will rip them off.   And trying to remove them after can literally just rip their nail off anyways. Using claw caps on retractable clawed animals can cause serious damage, discomfort, and infection, which can then lead to…. THE AMPUTATION YOU WERE TRYING TO AVOID!!!
People need to do some research before blurting out an unresearched ‘solution’ that causes just as much damage.   So many people have reblogged the claw cap version and listen to it without question and that’s REALLY.  REALLY.  BAD.  
Here’s a real solution;  either clip their nails manually (google how it’s easy) or just DONT. GET. A. CAT.  
Please reblog this and spread it around, people you cannot safely use claw caps on an animal with retractable claws.

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Animals, Arguing, and Bad: Please don't do this to your fur babies
 This is what the other side of de-clawing a cat looks like...
 You literally cut the tips of their toes off. They will never
 walk correctly. They will inevitably get arthritis as a result. It
 hurts. They don't understand what happened to them. If you
 don't like claws: don't own a damn cat.
c-r-y-p-t-i-d-s:
dreamyluigi-anti:


sans-hates-frans:

del-the-masked-thing:

cottoncandycan:

therevenantrising:

cisnowflake:

artemuscain-gamingandbs:

constable-nugget:

xprmnt626:


socialjusticeichigo:

veterinaryrambles:

babyanimalgifs:
THIS IS IMPORTANT
This message is veterinarian-approved!!!

In case it isn’t clear, that is literally the last bone of a cat’s toes attached to those claws. If you thought only the claw was being removed during declaw surgery, you are unfortunately mistaken. It’s an amputation.


Get claw caps instead! They stay on pretty well and your cat can walk around normally. You can take them off whenever you want. This is great for house cats. They don’t need their claws for defense but they need them to walk the way we need toes. This keeps them from scratching you or furniture and keeps them happy and healthy. It’s a win for everyone. Plus your cat will look like it got a kitty manicure. 


Reblogging again for the last comment, for anyone who wants to argue about saving their precious furniture.  Boom!  Problem solved.

I regularly trim my cat’s claws because I love him

They’re super cheap too!


Not really a cat person, but this is still important.

PLS DONT REMOVE UR CATS TOE BONES


T o e  b o n e s  r  i m p o r t a n t


The second cat my family ever owned was declawed, and she suffered GREATLY from arthritis in her last few years. She could barely get into her own litterbox and she often went on the carpet because of this. She died in my mom’s arms, obviously in pain.
DO. NOT. DECLAW. YOUR. CATS.

DON’T FUCKING DECLAW YOUR CATS! 
THAT SHIT SHOULD BE CHARGED AS ANIMAL ABUSE


Reblogging here instead of just commenting:
Please dont use claw caps on cats.  Claw caps are meant for claws that are out 24/7; like a dogs claws. Cats are not like dogs…. again.
Cat claws retract.   And like some of the comments on this very post say, on cats they have to be superglued on, because cats will rip them off.   And trying to remove them after can literally just rip their nail off anyways. Using claw caps on retractable clawed animals can cause serious damage, discomfort, and infection, which can then lead to…. THE AMPUTATION YOU WERE TRYING TO AVOID!!!
People need to do some research before blurting out an unresearched ‘solution’ that causes just as much damage.   So many people have reblogged the claw cap version and listen to it without question and that’s REALLY.  REALLY.  BAD.  
Here’s a real solution;  either clip their nails manually (google how it’s easy) or just DONT. GET. A. CAT.  
Please reblog this and spread it around, people you cannot safely use claw caps on an animal with retractable claws.

                
            

            
            
c-r-y-p-t-i-d-s:
dreamyluigi-anti:


sans-hates-frans:

del-the-masked-thing:

cottoncandycan:

therevenantrising:

cisnowflake:

artemuscai...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Child Support, Community, and Fucking: Chronic Sex
 @ChronicSexChat
 Chronic Sex
 *Psst*
 Marriage equality doesn't exist
 anywhere unless disabled people can
 marry without losing their benefits
 Pass it orn
 5/21/18, 7:03 AM
actualmythicalcreature:
somecunttookmyurl:


tyse-has-unpopular-opinions:

juxtapoesition:


oistrong:
I’m all for fighting for marriage equality in the LGBT community. But we’re so focused on that no one knows about this problem.

W…wait Thats a thing????


Yep! The man I refer to as my husband? We aren’t actually married. We can’t be. 
If I married him, the government would literally expect me to care for him and be his sole source of income. He would lose all of his benefits, including SSDI. Spouses are expected to share income and that effects ALL of his benefits, even his health insurance. We simply can’t afford to be married. 
But it goes even further than that. If I were disabled, our incomes would STILL be combined, meaning BOTH of us would have our benefits cut. 
For people reviving supplemental income, their benefits can be cut anywhere from 25% of their current income all the way down to 0%
In fact, one of the stipulations of receiving income under the adult disabled child program (which provides benefits for people who were disabled before age 22) is that they LITERALLY never be married. 
I normally don’t link to blog posts as resources, but since social service resource sites like to dress this problem up and make it seem smaller than it really is, I’m gonna call it appropriate! Check it out!
https://www.advocate.com/commentary/2015/06/29/op-ed-why-no-matter-what-i-still-cant-marry-my-girlfriend
I’m upset about the situation in case you couldn’t tell. 


Disabled people in the UK do not have marriage equality.

If you so much as LIVE with a partner you lose a massive chunk of income 


Disabled Canadian chiming in - it’s the same here. I can even be kicked off disability for living with a romantic partner for longer than 6 months because then I’m considered common-law, and said partners income is deducted dollar for dollar from my benefits. Things like alimony, spousal support, and child support are also deducted dollar for dollar from my benefits - so you also get in shit for having previous relationships. If I have a roommate, they can request I PROVE that I’m not in a relationship with them by getting character references to swear it. Essentially, anyone whose unlucky enough to love me, is considered my financial caretaker. It fucking sucks. 

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Child Support, Community, and Fucking: Chronic Sex
 @ChronicSexChat
 Chronic Sex
 *Psst*
 Marriage equality doesn't exist
 anywhere unless disabled people can
 marry without losing their benefits
 Pass it orn
 5/21/18, 7:03 AM
actualmythicalcreature:
somecunttookmyurl:


tyse-has-unpopular-opinions:

juxtapoesition:


oistrong:
I’m all for fighting for marriage equality in the LGBT community. But we’re so focused on that no one knows about this problem.

W…wait Thats a thing????


Yep! The man I refer to as my husband? We aren’t actually married. We can’t be. 
If I married him, the government would literally expect me to care for him and be his sole source of income. He would lose all of his benefits, including SSDI. Spouses are expected to share income and that effects ALL of his benefits, even his health insurance. We simply can’t afford to be married. 
But it goes even further than that. If I were disabled, our incomes would STILL be combined, meaning BOTH of us would have our benefits cut. 
For people reviving supplemental income, their benefits can be cut anywhere from 25% of their current income all the way down to 0%
In fact, one of the stipulations of receiving income under the adult disabled child program (which provides benefits for people who were disabled before age 22) is that they LITERALLY never be married. 
I normally don’t link to blog posts as resources, but since social service resource sites like to dress this problem up and make it seem smaller than it really is, I’m gonna call it appropriate! Check it out!
https://www.advocate.com/commentary/2015/06/29/op-ed-why-no-matter-what-i-still-cant-marry-my-girlfriend
I’m upset about the situation in case you couldn’t tell. 


Disabled people in the UK do not have marriage equality.

If you so much as LIVE with a partner you lose a massive chunk of income 


Disabled Canadian chiming in - it’s the same here. I can even be kicked off disability for living with a romantic partner for longer than 6 months because then I’m considered common-law, and said partners income is deducted dollar for dollar from my benefits. Things like alimony, spousal support, and child support are also deducted dollar for dollar from my benefits - so you also get in shit for having previous relationships. If I have a roommate, they can request I PROVE that I’m not in a relationship with them by getting character references to swear it. Essentially, anyone whose unlucky enough to love me, is considered my financial caretaker. It fucking sucks. 

                
            

            
            
actualmythicalcreature:
somecunttookmyurl:


tyse-has-unpopular-opinions:

juxtapoesition:


oistrong:
I’m all for fighting for marriage equ...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Bad, Complex, and Dude: 1:42 PM
 Tweet
 Alexandra Erin Retweeted
 Audrey
 @Turbocrit
 Gamer dudes are wild they'll play a game
 about overthrowing a corrupt monarch
 but if there's 1 gay character in it then it's
 "too political"
 8/25/17, 1:50 PM
 4,764 Retweets 11.6K Likes
 Audrey Turbocrit 14h
 Replying to @Turbocrit
 Not to mention the whole "having a gay/trans
 character in a high fantasy setting is
 completely unrealistic. Also here's some
 dragons" thing
 8
 237
 829
 WC @Hexy27Bernie1 7h
 Tweet your reply
definitelygayrpgideas:

definitelygayrpgideas:

thesallowbeldam:

kirinandvlindertje:

vaishino:

atomic-darth:

pupperoni-pizza:

didntfitthenarrative:

mitch-turn:

Sweet generalization. 
It’s not about whether a character is trans or gay. Gay characters make sense. People have been gay for millennia. Trans however. Not the case. In a high fantasy setting, how in the balls are they going to perform surgery where they change the sex of the character??? It makes no sense at all. They’d have to explain it. And remember, this is high fantasy, Game of Thrones is also in that category. This is a time where they would reach into your body with an object strikingly similar to a salad tossing spoon to yank out a small piece of arrowhead. Pretty sure they hadn’t figured out a surgery as complex as a sex change…
The people complaining that there aren’t enough gay/trans people in stuff like this are just as bad if not moreso than the people who complain about gay/trans people being in stuff like this.
Create your own fantasy world filled with nothing but gay/trans people. Make it so that being heterosexual is the minority. All the power to you. Good luck trying to create it.

You don’t have to have surgery to be transgender. Lots of transgender people don’t. Transgender people, people who identify with the gender not corresponding with their birth sex, have existed before the surgery. And the existence of and recognition of a third sex or dual sex existed in pre-modern times in lots of places are the world.So, for one, your “how in the balls are they going to perform surgery“ question doesn’t actually matter. They don’t need to in order for transgender people to exist.But if they did want to include transgender people who undergo physical changes to reflect their gender/sexual identity, in a HIGH FANTASY world, there’s actually a really easy answer to that:

*ahem*


“How are you going to make someone trans in a fantasy setting full of magic spells, potions, and artifacts?”

shout out to the elixir of sex shift for covering more than just a gender binary.

also lets not forget that in ye old days (aka time of the ancient greeks (aka the bc years)) that people drank the urine of pregnant mares to feminize themselves. like, trans people find a way ;)

…the fucking Sumerians had trans people, brosky.
Sumerians.
They didn’t even have fucking iron, but they had trans women.

dude lemme find you a fucking. girdle of sex change from 1st edition
woah what’s that?? the first edition efreet cover???
OH HEY ITS A FUCKING GIRDLE OF SEX CHANGE AND THERES ALSO A POSSIBILITY IT REMOVES ALL SEX CHARACTERISTICS FROM THE WEARER
it’s on page 145 of the dmg 1st ed. want an easier-to-read screenshot of a pdf??
tldr fuck you

it’s pride month welcome back to “tldr fuck you” anyways dnd says trans  nb rights

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Bad, Complex, and Dude: 1:42 PM
 Tweet
 Alexandra Erin Retweeted
 Audrey
 @Turbocrit
 Gamer dudes are wild they'll play a game
 about overthrowing a corrupt monarch
 but if there's 1 gay character in it then it's
 "too political"
 8/25/17, 1:50 PM
 4,764 Retweets 11.6K Likes
 Audrey Turbocrit 14h
 Replying to @Turbocrit
 Not to mention the whole "having a gay/trans
 character in a high fantasy setting is
 completely unrealistic. Also here's some
 dragons" thing
 8
 237
 829
 WC @Hexy27Bernie1 7h
 Tweet your reply
definitelygayrpgideas:

definitelygayrpgideas:

thesallowbeldam:

kirinandvlindertje:

vaishino:

atomic-darth:

pupperoni-pizza:

didntfitthenarrative:

mitch-turn:

Sweet generalization. 
It’s not about whether a character is trans or gay. Gay characters make sense. People have been gay for millennia. Trans however. Not the case. In a high fantasy setting, how in the balls are they going to perform surgery where they change the sex of the character??? It makes no sense at all. They’d have to explain it. And remember, this is high fantasy, Game of Thrones is also in that category. This is a time where they would reach into your body with an object strikingly similar to a salad tossing spoon to yank out a small piece of arrowhead. Pretty sure they hadn’t figured out a surgery as complex as a sex change…
The people complaining that there aren’t enough gay/trans people in stuff like this are just as bad if not moreso than the people who complain about gay/trans people being in stuff like this.
Create your own fantasy world filled with nothing but gay/trans people. Make it so that being heterosexual is the minority. All the power to you. Good luck trying to create it.

You don’t have to have surgery to be transgender. Lots of transgender people don’t. Transgender people, people who identify with the gender not corresponding with their birth sex, have existed before the surgery. And the existence of and recognition of a third sex or dual sex existed in pre-modern times in lots of places are the world.So, for one, your “how in the balls are they going to perform surgery“ question doesn’t actually matter. They don’t need to in order for transgender people to exist.But if they did want to include transgender people who undergo physical changes to reflect their gender/sexual identity, in a HIGH FANTASY world, there’s actually a really easy answer to that:

*ahem*


“How are you going to make someone trans in a fantasy setting full of magic spells, potions, and artifacts?”

shout out to the elixir of sex shift for covering more than just a gender binary.

also lets not forget that in ye old days (aka time of the ancient greeks (aka the bc years)) that people drank the urine of pregnant mares to feminize themselves. like, trans people find a way ;)

…the fucking Sumerians had trans people, brosky.
Sumerians.
They didn’t even have fucking iron, but they had trans women.

dude lemme find you a fucking. girdle of sex change from 1st edition
woah what’s that?? the first edition efreet cover???
OH HEY ITS A FUCKING GIRDLE OF SEX CHANGE AND THERES ALSO A POSSIBILITY IT REMOVES ALL SEX CHARACTERISTICS FROM THE WEARER
it’s on page 145 of the dmg 1st ed. want an easier-to-read screenshot of a pdf??
tldr fuck you

it’s pride month welcome back to “tldr fuck you” anyways dnd says trans  nb rights

                
            

            
            
definitelygayrpgideas:

definitelygayrpgideas:

thesallowbeldam:

kirinandvlindertje:

vaishino:

atomic-darth:

pupperoni-pizza:

didntfitt...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Amazon, Drinking, and Food: nware
 Keyring: Easy Carrying)
 Magnet: Convenient
 Cleaner: Innovative
 Straw: Origin Silicone
 BPA
 FREE
 FDA
 Easier, Accurate and Durable Straw Cleaner

 Keyring
 Snap Hook
 Gefnware
 Gefinware

 Sas O
 Save Oceans
lifepro-tips:


Gerinware Reusable Collapsible Straws Curved 8.7 x 6mm - Perfect Silicone Drinking Straws for Smoothies, Juice, Coffee, 2-Pack with Individual Case and Cleaners


🍂 ECO-FRIENDLY  BPA FREE: Made from 100% food grade silicone, it’s an FDA-approved reusable drinking straw. BPA and lead free. Friendly to environment and Harmless to human body.
🍂 FOLDABLE  HANDY CARRY: This transportable straw comes with a creative design portable carrying case that will be more sanitary than tossing a straw in your bag. Easy open but secure protect your straw. 
🍂 SOFT  ANTI-SCALDING: Compare to metal straws, silicone straw does not transfer heat. You can use it sipping scalding coffee or hot tea. Good for straw-chewers and kids.
🍂 EASIER, ACCURATE  DURABLE CLEANER: A new design straw cleaner is provided that can clean straw easier and more accurate than traditional straw cleaning brush. It’s dishwasher safe as well.
🍂 LARGE  SMOOTHIE SIZED: 8.7 inches long x 6 mm in inner diameter which can reach the top of any cup and perfect for any drinks. Cut straw with scissors if you need short size for kids’ tumblers.
Specifications:Available Colors: Green/ Pink/ Light Gray/ Deep BlueStraw Materials: Food Grade SiliconeCertification: FDA, BPA FreeStraw Size: 22 X 6mm
Why Choose Silicone Straws?You may see a sea turtle getting a straw in its nose from TV or social media. One study published earlier this year estimated as many as 8.3 billion plastic straws pollute the world’s beaches. To protect the world’s ocean, it’s time to use reusable straws instead of plastic straws. Made from Non-toxic, food-grade silicone, Gerinware Reusable Straw is a healthy alternative to chemical-laden plastic. Silicone straws are soft, flexible and safe for hot and cold drinks.
Easy to CleanEvery Silicone Straw comes with a special Cleaning Brush that helps with no fuss cleaning! The Cleaning Brush is also foldable to store in the convenient Travel Case. Silicone Straws react well to temperature and therefor you can sterilize it in boiling water after cleaning. They are also Dishwasher safe.
30%off code:9WO8VOJC, plus 5% coupon, 35% off in total.

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Amazon, Drinking, and Food: nware
 Keyring: Easy Carrying)
 Magnet: Convenient
 Cleaner: Innovative
 Straw: Origin Silicone
 BPA
 FREE
 FDA
 Easier, Accurate and Durable Straw Cleaner

 Keyring
 Snap Hook
 Gefnware
 Gefinware

 Sas O
 Save Oceans
lifepro-tips:


Gerinware Reusable Collapsible Straws Curved 8.7 x 6mm - Perfect Silicone Drinking Straws for Smoothies, Juice, Coffee, 2-Pack with Individual Case and Cleaners


🍂 ECO-FRIENDLY  BPA FREE: Made from 100% food grade silicone, it’s an FDA-approved reusable drinking straw. BPA and lead free. Friendly to environment and Harmless to human body.
🍂 FOLDABLE  HANDY CARRY: This transportable straw comes with a creative design portable carrying case that will be more sanitary than tossing a straw in your bag. Easy open but secure protect your straw. 
🍂 SOFT  ANTI-SCALDING: Compare to metal straws, silicone straw does not transfer heat. You can use it sipping scalding coffee or hot tea. Good for straw-chewers and kids.
🍂 EASIER, ACCURATE  DURABLE CLEANER: A new design straw cleaner is provided that can clean straw easier and more accurate than traditional straw cleaning brush. It’s dishwasher safe as well.
🍂 LARGE  SMOOTHIE SIZED: 8.7 inches long x 6 mm in inner diameter which can reach the top of any cup and perfect for any drinks. Cut straw with scissors if you need short size for kids’ tumblers.
Specifications:Available Colors: Green/ Pink/ Light Gray/ Deep BlueStraw Materials: Food Grade SiliconeCertification: FDA, BPA FreeStraw Size: 22 X 6mm
Why Choose Silicone Straws?You may see a sea turtle getting a straw in its nose from TV or social media. One study published earlier this year estimated as many as 8.3 billion plastic straws pollute the world’s beaches. To protect the world’s ocean, it’s time to use reusable straws instead of plastic straws. Made from Non-toxic, food-grade silicone, Gerinware Reusable Straw is a healthy alternative to chemical-laden plastic. Silicone straws are soft, flexible and safe for hot and cold drinks.
Easy to CleanEvery Silicone Straw comes with a special Cleaning Brush that helps with no fuss cleaning! The Cleaning Brush is also foldable to store in the convenient Travel Case. Silicone Straws react well to temperature and therefor you can sterilize it in boiling water after cleaning. They are also Dishwasher safe.
30%off code:9WO8VOJC, plus 5% coupon, 35% off in total.

                
            

            
            
lifepro-tips:


Gerinware Reusable Collapsible Straws Curved 8.7 x 6mm - Perfect Silicone Drinking Straws for Smoothies, Juice, Coffee, 2-Pa...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Tumblr, Blog, and Http: memeguy.com
sandalphom:
memeguy-com:

In case you were wondering how the Big Bird suit works



    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Tumblr, Blog, and Http: memeguy.com
sandalphom:
memeguy-com:

In case you were wondering how the Big Bird suit works



                
                

                
            

            
            
sandalphom:
memeguy-com:

In case you were wondering how the Big Bird suit works




            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Amazon, Drinking, and Food: nware
 Keyring: Easy Carrying)
 Magnet: Convenient
 Cleaner: Innovative
 Straw: Origin Silicone
 BPA
 FREE
 FDA
 Easier, Accurate and Durable Straw Cleaner

 Keyring
 Snap Hook
 Gefnware
 Gefinware

 Sas O
 Save Oceans
lifepro-tips:


Gerinware Reusable Collapsible Straws Curved 8.7 x 6mm - Perfect Silicone Drinking Straws for Smoothies, Juice, Coffee, 2-Pack with Individual Case and Cleaners


🍂 ECO-FRIENDLY  BPA FREE: Made from 100% food grade silicone, it’s an FDA-approved reusable drinking straw. BPA and lead free. Friendly to environment and Harmless to human body.
🍂 FOLDABLE  HANDY CARRY: This transportable straw comes with a creative design portable carrying case that will be more sanitary than tossing a straw in your bag. Easy open but secure protect your straw. 
🍂 SOFT  ANTI-SCALDING: Compare to metal straws, silicone straw does not transfer heat. You can use it sipping scalding coffee or hot tea. Good for straw-chewers and kids.
🍂 EASIER, ACCURATE  DURABLE CLEANER: A new design straw cleaner is provided that can clean straw easier and more accurate than traditional straw cleaning brush. It’s dishwasher safe as well.
🍂 LARGE  SMOOTHIE SIZED: 8.7 inches long x 6 mm in inner diameter which can reach the top of any cup and perfect for any drinks. Cut straw with scissors if you need short size for kids’ tumblers.
Specifications:Available Colors: Green/ Pink/ Light Gray/ Deep BlueStraw Materials: Food Grade SiliconeCertification: FDA, BPA FreeStraw Size: 22 X 6mm
Why Choose Silicone Straws?You may see a sea turtle getting a straw in its nose from TV or social media. One study published earlier this year estimated as many as 8.3 billion plastic straws pollute the world’s beaches. To protect the world’s ocean, it’s time to use reusable straws instead of plastic straws. Made from Non-toxic, food-grade silicone, Gerinware Reusable Straw is a healthy alternative to chemical-laden plastic. Silicone straws are soft, flexible and safe for hot and cold drinks.
Easy to CleanEvery Silicone Straw comes with a special Cleaning Brush that helps with no fuss cleaning! The Cleaning Brush is also foldable to store in the convenient Travel Case. Silicone Straws react well to temperature and therefor you can sterilize it in boiling water after cleaning. They are also Dishwasher safe.
30%off code:9WO8VOJC, plus 5% coupon, 35% off in total.

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Amazon, Drinking, and Food: nware
 Keyring: Easy Carrying)
 Magnet: Convenient
 Cleaner: Innovative
 Straw: Origin Silicone
 BPA
 FREE
 FDA
 Easier, Accurate and Durable Straw Cleaner

 Keyring
 Snap Hook
 Gefnware
 Gefinware

 Sas O
 Save Oceans
lifepro-tips:


Gerinware Reusable Collapsible Straws Curved 8.7 x 6mm - Perfect Silicone Drinking Straws for Smoothies, Juice, Coffee, 2-Pack with Individual Case and Cleaners


🍂 ECO-FRIENDLY  BPA FREE: Made from 100% food grade silicone, it’s an FDA-approved reusable drinking straw. BPA and lead free. Friendly to environment and Harmless to human body.
🍂 FOLDABLE  HANDY CARRY: This transportable straw comes with a creative design portable carrying case that will be more sanitary than tossing a straw in your bag. Easy open but secure protect your straw. 
🍂 SOFT  ANTI-SCALDING: Compare to metal straws, silicone straw does not transfer heat. You can use it sipping scalding coffee or hot tea. Good for straw-chewers and kids.
🍂 EASIER, ACCURATE  DURABLE CLEANER: A new design straw cleaner is provided that can clean straw easier and more accurate than traditional straw cleaning brush. It’s dishwasher safe as well.
🍂 LARGE  SMOOTHIE SIZED: 8.7 inches long x 6 mm in inner diameter which can reach the top of any cup and perfect for any drinks. Cut straw with scissors if you need short size for kids’ tumblers.
Specifications:Available Colors: Green/ Pink/ Light Gray/ Deep BlueStraw Materials: Food Grade SiliconeCertification: FDA, BPA FreeStraw Size: 22 X 6mm
Why Choose Silicone Straws?You may see a sea turtle getting a straw in its nose from TV or social media. One study published earlier this year estimated as many as 8.3 billion plastic straws pollute the world’s beaches. To protect the world’s ocean, it’s time to use reusable straws instead of plastic straws. Made from Non-toxic, food-grade silicone, Gerinware Reusable Straw is a healthy alternative to chemical-laden plastic. Silicone straws are soft, flexible and safe for hot and cold drinks.
Easy to CleanEvery Silicone Straw comes with a special Cleaning Brush that helps with no fuss cleaning! The Cleaning Brush is also foldable to store in the convenient Travel Case. Silicone Straws react well to temperature and therefor you can sterilize it in boiling water after cleaning. They are also Dishwasher safe.
30%off code:9WO8VOJC, plus 5% coupon, 35% off in total.

                
            

            
            
lifepro-tips:


Gerinware Reusable Collapsible Straws Curved 8.7 x 6mm - Perfect Silicone Drinking Straws for Smoothies, Juice, Coffee, 2-Pa...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Gif, Life, and Target: nicky
 @tropicocunt
 me to my dentist when I have a cavity:
 are you mad at me :
 11/21/18, 2:57 PM
mynameiskleio:

digitaldancin:

realityremedy:

ellieisnotoldyet:
I’ve been reading through the notes and I just have to say that I absolutely promise, promise, promise you that nobody in the dental surgery is there to judge you, and we’re certainly not mad at you. Cavities happen. Even to dentists. You think your dentist has a mouth full of virgin teeth? Unlikely! They’ve all visited  eachother’s surgeries to get a quickie filling (ooh, saucy) between patients. They understand that life can get in the way of oral hygiene sometimes. They understand that life’s too short not to eat chocolate. They understand that you’ve got to live. I swear to you that everyone in that room is just there to help you. Please, please, please don’t stop going to the dentist because you’re worried they’ll be mad at you. It’s really not the case. They understand. It’s fine. It’s really, really fine. Please go to the dentist. I promise you it’s ok. 

You would not believe how comforting this is. 



Also, it could be genetic, result of severe stress, or short-term / long-term illnesses. Certain medical conditions like pregnancy and chronic pain fuck with your teeth. 

And don’t get me started on the criminal state of dental coverage in the US. 

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Gif, Life, and Target: nicky
 @tropicocunt
 me to my dentist when I have a cavity:
 are you mad at me :
 11/21/18, 2:57 PM
mynameiskleio:

digitaldancin:

realityremedy:

ellieisnotoldyet:
I’ve been reading through the notes and I just have to say that I absolutely promise, promise, promise you that nobody in the dental surgery is there to judge you, and we’re certainly not mad at you. Cavities happen. Even to dentists. You think your dentist has a mouth full of virgin teeth? Unlikely! They’ve all visited  eachother’s surgeries to get a quickie filling (ooh, saucy) between patients. They understand that life can get in the way of oral hygiene sometimes. They understand that life’s too short not to eat chocolate. They understand that you’ve got to live. I swear to you that everyone in that room is just there to help you. Please, please, please don’t stop going to the dentist because you’re worried they’ll be mad at you. It’s really not the case. They understand. It’s fine. It’s really, really fine. Please go to the dentist. I promise you it’s ok. 

You would not believe how comforting this is. 



Also, it could be genetic, result of severe stress, or short-term / long-term illnesses. Certain medical conditions like pregnancy and chronic pain fuck with your teeth. 

And don’t get me started on the criminal state of dental coverage in the US. 

                
            

            
            
mynameiskleio:

digitaldancin:

realityremedy:

ellieisnotoldyet:
I’ve been reading through the notes and I just have to say that I absolute...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Alive, Animals, and Cats: Meg
 OVeganMegane
 Vegans who feed their pets meat:
 u guys have gotta see the bigger
 picture. We shouldn't support
 animal exploitation w/ our money
 That's it.
 7/13/16, 10:50 PM

 aer
 @thelilmermade
 @VeganMegane yes um so how
 would I feed my cat?
 7/13/16, 11:02 PM
 lI VIEW TWEET ACTIVITY
 Meg @VeganMegane
 @thelilmermade is your cat male or
 7m
 female? :) check out this website for
 more info: vegancats.com/
 veganfaq.php

 Meg @VeganMegane
 @thelilmermade I know you want to
 best for your companion, and I
 won't deny that there are risks, but
 you can minimise those risks!
 5m
someoneintheshadow456:

nautica-the-savant:

marbledmartin:

thegrumpymathematician:

nunyabizni:

sarcasmsuitsme:

skypig357:

iswearimnotnaked:

hi hello CATS!!!! CANNOT!!!! BE VEGAN!!!!! 

i cannot believe i have to fucking say this. 

dogs are omnivore and IF YOUR VET APPROVES your pooch MAY be able to go on an APPROVED(!!!!!) commercial vegan dog food like the brand “v-dog” which has all the essential vitamins, protein, etc. (the oldest record winning dogs have been vegan) 

cats are CARNIVORE and cannot fucking live on a vegan diet. a vet would laugh in your face and probably find some way to have your pet taken away from you because you’re obviously not fit to have an animal if you think you can feed a cat a diet based on your own ethics 

i’m vegan but this is so fucking harmful. 

it’s about minimizing your harm, not putting your animals on risky diets in an attempt to be perfect. 

DON’T FUCKING DO THIS TO YOUR PETS

Idiot people

If you see someone you know doing this, report them for animal cruelty and neglect.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


This posts, and many of the notes on it, are bothering me. Ladies, gentlemen, esteemed colleagues from outside the confines of the gender binary; gather ‘round. Let’s throw some science in this joint.
1. Humans. Humans are not cats. Humans are not dogs. One would think this obvious, but people have a tendency to attempt such interspecies comparisons when discussing diet. Humans are order omnivora; we have essentially evolved in a manner that attempts to give us as much dietary flexibility as possible. We do, however, require a substance called B12 (or cobalamin), which is extremely important for brain and nervous system functions, as well as the synthesis of DNA and the construction of red blood cells. We cannot produce this vitamin ourselves–no animal, plant, or fungus can. The enzymes used in cobalamin production are essentially unique to bacteria and archaea–some species of which hang out in the digestive tracks of other animals. We get cobalamin in a roundabout way from fish, shellfish, meat, eggs, milk, and dairy products. While there is no naturally-occurring, vegan source of the vitamin that has been demonstrated effective in a human study of statistically significant sample size, effective synthetic forms do exist and can be used as a substitute.  Cyanocobalamin is one of the most common and is frequently found in fortified foods and vitamins. In short: Humans are omnivores. Humans have evolved for dietary flexibility, including viable vegetarianism. Humans did not evolve for veganism (be extremely suspicious of people who tell you that we did, as they are lying), but due to modern technologies, veganism is also a viable diet that humans can thrive on, should they so choose.
2. Cats. Cats are order carnivora. Cats require (amongst other things) an amino acid called taurine. We’re not quite sure how, exactly, but we know that it’s extremely important to feline heart wall tissue, retinal tissue, and brain tissue amongst other things. Cats cannot manufacture their own taurine, and must get it from other sources–primarily shellfish, fish and meat. Taurine breaks down when heated, so feeding your cat a home-cooked diet rich in this foods is also not necessarily a good idea (talk to a vet). Secondary (read: SUPPLEMENTARY. NOT A SOLE SOURCE OF TAURINE.) sources of taurine for cats include dairy, eggs, and seaweed- or yeast-based taurine supplements. In nature, cats don’t really need to worry about getting enough taurine, because (as you may have noticed), taurine sources are indeed the things that cats tend to catch and eat. However, a cat that lives in a human household is dependent on humans for food, and sometimes humans are utter fucktrucks. In short: Cats are obligate carnivores. Their primary source of nutrition is meat. They must eat meat, preferably as close to raw as possible. They have digestive tracks designed for digesting meat. There are vegan/vegetarian cat kibbles on the market. Do not buy them. Your cat is neither vegan nor vegetarian, and if you adjust their diet as if they were, you are a terrible person who is harming and possibly killing your pet. You suck. End of discussion.
3. Dogs. Dogs are slightly more nuanced here. They are facultative carnivores–meaning that they optimally should eat meat, but can survive on other things if resources are scare. Dogs also need the amino acid taurine, but can technically manufacture it themselves if the proper building blocks are in their diets. They also need vitamin D–D3 is preferable, but D2 can be used to some degree. Dogs are somewhere between us (the true omnivore) and the cat (the true carnivore). A vegan or vegetarian diet will keep a dog alive, certainly, but is unlikely to allow your pet to thrive as it lacks the recommended nutrients. You should probably be feeding your dog meat. The exception here–some dogs are allergic to conventional dog foods, or find symptoms of certain diseases alleviated by vegetarianism. In this case, a veterinarian (not you, layperson, I mean an actual trained veterinarian) may determine that the benefits of putting your dog on a vegetarian/vegan diet outweigh those of feeding your dog meat. This is relatively rare, but does occasionally happen. And no, actually, the oldest dog is not vegan–Bramble is the only dog on this list that I found had some indication of veganism. The oldest dog on record is an Australian Kelpie named Maggie, who was not vegan. It is more likely that Bramble lived that long despite the veganism, not because of it. In short: If a vet thinks that your dog may be allergic to dog food/require a special diet and recommends you try feeding it a vegetarian/vegan diet, listen to your vet. Otherwise? Dogs are carnivora. They do need vegetables and other sources of nutrients, but their optimal fuel, as it were, is meat. Your dog needs meat to be happy. Fucking feed your dog. 
Now, I did manage to find two veterinarians who disagree with every other study I dug up and the American Veterinary Medical Association. Their articles are here and here. They don’t really have sources, and are essentially wholly dependent on anecdotal evidence (“my dog is a vegetarian and hasn’t died!”), but for those of you data cherry-pickers reading this, there you go. 
As a rule, dogs and cats need meat. If that makes you uncomfortable, that is your problem, not theirs. If you try to implement a vegan or vegetarian diet for your pets because you implemented one for yourself, you shouldn’t have those pets. That is animal abuse. (By the way, those of you not feeding your cats and non-allergic dogs the food they need to survive and thrive? What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you not love your pets?)
TL;DR If you do not want a pet that must be fed meat, you should under no circumstances acquire a cat or a dog. Thank you for your time.

Rebloobing for the more detailed info on B12 and obligate carnivore vs true omnivores


Always reblog. 

Dear Vegans,
If you’re not willing to at least feed your dogs and cats commercial food, get a rabbit or a parrot.

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Alive, Animals, and Cats: Meg
 OVeganMegane
 Vegans who feed their pets meat:
 u guys have gotta see the bigger
 picture. We shouldn't support
 animal exploitation w/ our money
 That's it.
 7/13/16, 10:50 PM

 aer
 @thelilmermade
 @VeganMegane yes um so how
 would I feed my cat?
 7/13/16, 11:02 PM
 lI VIEW TWEET ACTIVITY
 Meg @VeganMegane
 @thelilmermade is your cat male or
 7m
 female? :) check out this website for
 more info: vegancats.com/
 veganfaq.php

 Meg @VeganMegane
 @thelilmermade I know you want to
 best for your companion, and I
 won't deny that there are risks, but
 you can minimise those risks!
 5m
someoneintheshadow456:

nautica-the-savant:

marbledmartin:

thegrumpymathematician:

nunyabizni:

sarcasmsuitsme:

skypig357:

iswearimnotnaked:

hi hello CATS!!!! CANNOT!!!! BE VEGAN!!!!! 

i cannot believe i have to fucking say this. 

dogs are omnivore and IF YOUR VET APPROVES your pooch MAY be able to go on an APPROVED(!!!!!) commercial vegan dog food like the brand “v-dog” which has all the essential vitamins, protein, etc. (the oldest record winning dogs have been vegan) 

cats are CARNIVORE and cannot fucking live on a vegan diet. a vet would laugh in your face and probably find some way to have your pet taken away from you because you’re obviously not fit to have an animal if you think you can feed a cat a diet based on your own ethics 

i’m vegan but this is so fucking harmful. 

it’s about minimizing your harm, not putting your animals on risky diets in an attempt to be perfect. 

DON’T FUCKING DO THIS TO YOUR PETS

Idiot people

If you see someone you know doing this, report them for animal cruelty and neglect.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


This posts, and many of the notes on it, are bothering me. Ladies, gentlemen, esteemed colleagues from outside the confines of the gender binary; gather ‘round. Let’s throw some science in this joint.
1. Humans. Humans are not cats. Humans are not dogs. One would think this obvious, but people have a tendency to attempt such interspecies comparisons when discussing diet. Humans are order omnivora; we have essentially evolved in a manner that attempts to give us as much dietary flexibility as possible. We do, however, require a substance called B12 (or cobalamin), which is extremely important for brain and nervous system functions, as well as the synthesis of DNA and the construction of red blood cells. We cannot produce this vitamin ourselves–no animal, plant, or fungus can. The enzymes used in cobalamin production are essentially unique to bacteria and archaea–some species of which hang out in the digestive tracks of other animals. We get cobalamin in a roundabout way from fish, shellfish, meat, eggs, milk, and dairy products. While there is no naturally-occurring, vegan source of the vitamin that has been demonstrated effective in a human study of statistically significant sample size, effective synthetic forms do exist and can be used as a substitute.  Cyanocobalamin is one of the most common and is frequently found in fortified foods and vitamins. In short: Humans are omnivores. Humans have evolved for dietary flexibility, including viable vegetarianism. Humans did not evolve for veganism (be extremely suspicious of people who tell you that we did, as they are lying), but due to modern technologies, veganism is also a viable diet that humans can thrive on, should they so choose.
2. Cats. Cats are order carnivora. Cats require (amongst other things) an amino acid called taurine. We’re not quite sure how, exactly, but we know that it’s extremely important to feline heart wall tissue, retinal tissue, and brain tissue amongst other things. Cats cannot manufacture their own taurine, and must get it from other sources–primarily shellfish, fish and meat. Taurine breaks down when heated, so feeding your cat a home-cooked diet rich in this foods is also not necessarily a good idea (talk to a vet). Secondary (read: SUPPLEMENTARY. NOT A SOLE SOURCE OF TAURINE.) sources of taurine for cats include dairy, eggs, and seaweed- or yeast-based taurine supplements. In nature, cats don’t really need to worry about getting enough taurine, because (as you may have noticed), taurine sources are indeed the things that cats tend to catch and eat. However, a cat that lives in a human household is dependent on humans for food, and sometimes humans are utter fucktrucks. In short: Cats are obligate carnivores. Their primary source of nutrition is meat. They must eat meat, preferably as close to raw as possible. They have digestive tracks designed for digesting meat. There are vegan/vegetarian cat kibbles on the market. Do not buy them. Your cat is neither vegan nor vegetarian, and if you adjust their diet as if they were, you are a terrible person who is harming and possibly killing your pet. You suck. End of discussion.
3. Dogs. Dogs are slightly more nuanced here. They are facultative carnivores–meaning that they optimally should eat meat, but can survive on other things if resources are scare. Dogs also need the amino acid taurine, but can technically manufacture it themselves if the proper building blocks are in their diets. They also need vitamin D–D3 is preferable, but D2 can be used to some degree. Dogs are somewhere between us (the true omnivore) and the cat (the true carnivore). A vegan or vegetarian diet will keep a dog alive, certainly, but is unlikely to allow your pet to thrive as it lacks the recommended nutrients. You should probably be feeding your dog meat. The exception here–some dogs are allergic to conventional dog foods, or find symptoms of certain diseases alleviated by vegetarianism. In this case, a veterinarian (not you, layperson, I mean an actual trained veterinarian) may determine that the benefits of putting your dog on a vegetarian/vegan diet outweigh those of feeding your dog meat. This is relatively rare, but does occasionally happen. And no, actually, the oldest dog is not vegan–Bramble is the only dog on this list that I found had some indication of veganism. The oldest dog on record is an Australian Kelpie named Maggie, who was not vegan. It is more likely that Bramble lived that long despite the veganism, not because of it. In short: If a vet thinks that your dog may be allergic to dog food/require a special diet and recommends you try feeding it a vegetarian/vegan diet, listen to your vet. Otherwise? Dogs are carnivora. They do need vegetables and other sources of nutrients, but their optimal fuel, as it were, is meat. Your dog needs meat to be happy. Fucking feed your dog. 
Now, I did manage to find two veterinarians who disagree with every other study I dug up and the American Veterinary Medical Association. Their articles are here and here. They don’t really have sources, and are essentially wholly dependent on anecdotal evidence (“my dog is a vegetarian and hasn’t died!”), but for those of you data cherry-pickers reading this, there you go. 
As a rule, dogs and cats need meat. If that makes you uncomfortable, that is your problem, not theirs. If you try to implement a vegan or vegetarian diet for your pets because you implemented one for yourself, you shouldn’t have those pets. That is animal abuse. (By the way, those of you not feeding your cats and non-allergic dogs the food they need to survive and thrive? What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you not love your pets?)
TL;DR If you do not want a pet that must be fed meat, you should under no circumstances acquire a cat or a dog. Thank you for your time.

Rebloobing for the more detailed info on B12 and obligate carnivore vs true omnivores


Always reblog. 

Dear Vegans,
If you’re not willing to at least feed your dogs and cats commercial food, get a rabbit or a parrot.

                
            

            
            
someoneintheshadow456:

nautica-the-savant:

marbledmartin:

thegrumpymathematician:

nunyabizni:

sarcasmsuitsme:

skypig357:

iswearimnotn...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Bubba, Clock, and Crying: writing-prompt-s
 You're in charge of assigning every child
 on Earth the monster under their bed
 One child in particular has caused every
 monster assigned to him/her to quit. You
 decide to assign yourself.
 kittenwiskers
 Case: #273402
 Status: Disastrous
 I stare at the file and realize I have no
 options, over the last 2 years every
 monster assigned to Charlotte Dower has
 quit, every last one. Her first monster; a
 giant goldfish-faced humanoid named
 Bubba, had been with her for four years
 and then she wasn't scared of him
 anymore. After that it was a string of
 different common, uncommon, and rare
 monsters... I even assigned a sentient
 sock monster to her. He came back
 crying
 I look on my tablet, only one assignable
 monster left; myself. Field work has never
 been my cup of tea, but desperate times
 call for desperate measures. So at 8:03
 pm, after Mrs. Gideon tucks in Charlotte
 and her little brother Daniel; I slither into
 the space beneath Charlotte's bed
 Across the room underneath Daniel's crib
 is a rookie, Chico, a standard Creep kind
 of monster.
 I turn my attention to the bed above me,
 Charlotte is still awake but barely, reach
 up over the bed and run an ice cold
 finger over her cheek, silence, so I do it
 again
 "I'm not afraid of you monster!" She
 whispers, but her voice is shaking. I can
 see a small clock on the wall 8:14, a door
 somewhere in the house slams and there
 is an audible hitch of breath from above
 me. A few minutes go by I can hear
 Francis Gideon yelling at his wife. There
 are heavy footsteps on the stairs, and
 loud panting breaths, Charlotte
 scrambles off the bed and..
 She. CRAWLS. Under. The. Bed. With
 Me.
 "Move. Over!" Charlotte hisses at me. I
 The door to the bedroom slams open and
 I smell the stench of human intoxicants
 before the man even steps inside.
 I know why Charlotte isn't afraid of any of
 my monsters; she's afraid of her own.
 Francis reaches a hand under the bed
 and I thrust my wrist into it, he starts to
 pull, I slither out.
 "What the... I cut Francis's next words
 off by unfolding to my full 12 foot height.
 Looming over the drunken man I caress
 my cold fingers down his face.
 "If you ever touch, scare, or harm my
 child again, I will find you, and I will do
 the same to you, for all eternity." I
 promise to him
 As Francis runs from the room he soils
 himself.
 I pull Charlotte from under the bed, tuck
 her back under her covers and kiss her
 forehead goodnight. "l'll be back
 tomorrow night, sleep well darling."
 Charlotte Dower is my child, I am the
 monster under her bed
 funny.C
awesomacious:

A greatly written story
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Bubba, Clock, and Crying: writing-prompt-s
 You're in charge of assigning every child
 on Earth the monster under their bed
 One child in particular has caused every
 monster assigned to him/her to quit. You
 decide to assign yourself.
 kittenwiskers
 Case: #273402
 Status: Disastrous
 I stare at the file and realize I have no
 options, over the last 2 years every
 monster assigned to Charlotte Dower has
 quit, every last one. Her first monster; a
 giant goldfish-faced humanoid named
 Bubba, had been with her for four years
 and then she wasn't scared of him
 anymore. After that it was a string of
 different common, uncommon, and rare
 monsters... I even assigned a sentient
 sock monster to her. He came back
 crying
 I look on my tablet, only one assignable
 monster left; myself. Field work has never
 been my cup of tea, but desperate times
 call for desperate measures. So at 8:03
 pm, after Mrs. Gideon tucks in Charlotte
 and her little brother Daniel; I slither into
 the space beneath Charlotte's bed
 Across the room underneath Daniel's crib
 is a rookie, Chico, a standard Creep kind
 of monster.
 I turn my attention to the bed above me,
 Charlotte is still awake but barely, reach
 up over the bed and run an ice cold
 finger over her cheek, silence, so I do it
 again
 "I'm not afraid of you monster!" She
 whispers, but her voice is shaking. I can
 see a small clock on the wall 8:14, a door
 somewhere in the house slams and there
 is an audible hitch of breath from above
 me. A few minutes go by I can hear
 Francis Gideon yelling at his wife. There
 are heavy footsteps on the stairs, and
 loud panting breaths, Charlotte
 scrambles off the bed and..
 She. CRAWLS. Under. The. Bed. With
 Me.
 "Move. Over!" Charlotte hisses at me. I
 The door to the bedroom slams open and
 I smell the stench of human intoxicants
 before the man even steps inside.
 I know why Charlotte isn't afraid of any of
 my monsters; she's afraid of her own.
 Francis reaches a hand under the bed
 and I thrust my wrist into it, he starts to
 pull, I slither out.
 "What the... I cut Francis's next words
 off by unfolding to my full 12 foot height.
 Looming over the drunken man I caress
 my cold fingers down his face.
 "If you ever touch, scare, or harm my
 child again, I will find you, and I will do
 the same to you, for all eternity." I
 promise to him
 As Francis runs from the room he soils
 himself.
 I pull Charlotte from under the bed, tuck
 her back under her covers and kiss her
 forehead goodnight. "l'll be back
 tomorrow night, sleep well darling."
 Charlotte Dower is my child, I am the
 monster under her bed
 funny.C
awesomacious:

A greatly written story
                
            

            
            
awesomacious:

A greatly written story