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Facebook, Fast Food, and Food: Too Horny But Horny For Cuddling @SeitanSlut Ah yes. Explore a restaurant while waiters carry around hot food and beverages. A safe environment for a child to go unaccompanied. Slate @Slate 7h SLATE Our waitress told him to sit down. I'm angry she didn't speak to me before disciplining my kid. slate.trib.al/koyzfB5 lazy-cat-corner: giasesshoumaru: This is the full question and response in case anyone is curious. It’s awesome. Dear Care and Feeding, My wife and I and our 4-year-old son were out to dinner last week. It was a medium-nice restaurant, not fast food, but not super fancy either. My son is a normal, active little boy, and it’s hard for him to sit through a whole dinner, so we let him explore the restaurant a little. I noticed our waitress giving him the hairy eyeball, so we asked him to stop running. He was pretty good about it after that, but he did get underfoot when she was carrying a tray, and she spoke to him pretty sharply to go back to our table and sit down. I felt it was completely uncalled for, and she should have come and spoken to us personally instead of disciplining someone else’s child. I tipped 5 percent and spoke briefly to her manager, who gave noncommittal replies. My wife agrees with me, but when we posted about it on Facebook, we got a lot of judgy responses. —It’s Hard for a 4-Year-Old to Sit Still Dear Sit Still, Yeah, this is your fault. It’s hugely your fault. Of course it’s hard for a 4-year-old to sit still, which is why people usually stick to fast-dining establishments while working on restaurant manners. It’s why one parent usually responds to a fidgety kid who wants to “explore” by taking him outside the restaurant, where he can get his wiggles out while not taking laps around servers precariously carrying trays of (often extremely hot) food and drink. A kid “exploring” a restaurant is not a thing. When you did intervene, it wasn’t to get him back in his seat. It was just to instruct him to “stop running.” You weren’t parenting, so a server did it for you. She was right. You were wrong. Your son is not ready to eat at a “medium-nice” restaurant again until he is capable of behaving a little better. You can practice at home. You can practice at McDonald’s. You can try a real restaurant again with the understanding that one of you may need to take him out when he starts getting the urge to run an obstacle course. I doubt that you will do this, but I encourage you to return the restaurant, apologize to the manager for complaining about your server, and leave her a proper tip. Mend your wicked ways. And that’s the tea! It’s not complicated. Your wine glass is on your right Use the fork farthest from you and work your way in Watch your damn kids And tip your fucking waiters! Periodt!!!
Facebook, Fast Food, and Food: Too Horny But Horny For Cuddling
 @SeitanSlut
 Ah yes. Explore a restaurant while waiters carry around
 hot food and beverages. A safe environment for a child
 to go unaccompanied.
 Slate
 @Slate 7h
 SLATE
 Our waitress told him to sit down. I'm angry she didn't speak to me before
 disciplining my kid. slate.trib.al/koyzfB5
lazy-cat-corner:
giasesshoumaru:


This is the full question and response in case anyone is curious. It’s awesome.
Dear Care and Feeding,
My wife and I and our 4-year-old son were out to dinner last week. It was a medium-nice restaurant, not fast food, but not super fancy either. My son is a normal, active little boy, and it’s hard for him to sit through a whole dinner, so we let him explore the restaurant a little. I noticed our waitress giving him the hairy eyeball, so we asked him to stop running. He was pretty good about it after that, but he did get underfoot when she was carrying a tray, and she spoke to him pretty sharply to go back to our table and sit down. I felt it was completely uncalled for, and she should have come and spoken to us personally instead of disciplining someone else’s child.
I tipped 5 percent and spoke briefly to her manager, who gave noncommittal replies. My wife agrees with me, but when we posted about it on Facebook, we got a lot of judgy responses.
—It’s Hard for a 4-Year-Old to Sit Still
Dear Sit Still,
Yeah, this is your fault. It’s hugely your fault. Of course it’s hard for a 4-year-old to sit still, which is why people usually stick to fast-dining establishments while working on restaurant manners. It’s why one parent usually responds to a fidgety kid who wants to “explore” by taking him outside the restaurant, where he can get his wiggles out while not taking laps around servers precariously carrying trays of (often extremely hot) food and drink.
A kid “exploring” a restaurant is not a thing. When you did intervene, it wasn’t to get him back in his seat. It was just to instruct him to “stop running.” You weren’t parenting, so a server did it for you. She was right. You were wrong.
Your son is not ready to eat at a “medium-nice” restaurant again until he is capable of behaving a little better. You can practice at home. You can practice at McDonald’s. You can try a real restaurant again with the understanding that one of you may need to take him out when he starts getting the urge to run an obstacle course.
I doubt that you will do this, but I encourage you to return the restaurant, apologize to the manager for complaining about your server, and leave her a proper tip.
Mend your wicked ways.


And that’s the tea! 
It’s not complicated.
Your wine glass is on your right 
Use the fork farthest from you and work your way in
Watch your damn kids
And tip your fucking waiters! Periodt!!!

lazy-cat-corner: giasesshoumaru: This is the full question and response in case anyone is curious. It’s awesome. Dear Care and Feeding, My...

Apple, Definitely, and Dogs: S: Sofia created a poll. March 4 at 10:33 PM ever since i moved to Europe, almost every single meal i've shared someone, there comes a point where someone asks, 'how do you say "bon inenglish' and then i have appétit dobar tek / eet smakelijk / explain that this expression essentially doesn't exist in English except for the incredibly informal 'chow down' to which they always respond in mixture of horror or confusion. after all, 'bon appétit' comes from French and it often has an air of pretension or irony and 'enjoy your meal can really only be said by someone not participating in the meal or am i wrong? what English-only phrase do YOU say before a meal? welcome to flavortown bone app the teeth +78 let's eat +71 dig in! +58 Enjoy! +56 RUB A DUB DUB THANKS FOR THE +41 GRUB We luv our bread we luv our butter but +38 most of all we luv each other 1 0+ Commencing operation mastication +31 0+ i wanna munch +29 Bone apple tea +28 .. Osteoporosis 2 +19 G'appetite +16 --- Ah, I greatly consuming this food, which is definitely not human flesh 0+ +16 eat up +14 17 OM NOM NOM NOM +10 0+ i think dogs should be able to vote +9 7 2468 dig in don't wait AMOE 0+ Blonde amputee +8 Help yourself +6 tuck in +6 time to dig in +6 shallmst we nom? +5 Boom map the sheets +4 Bone fuck my Ray Romano BluRay +4 Phone apple jeans +3 eat up martha +3 it's time to mönch...it's time to crönch +3 M food +2 happy masticating +2 muaddibbler:The most impressive communal shitpost I’ve yet seen from a linguistics Facebook group
Apple, Definitely, and Dogs: S:
 Sofia created a poll.
 March 4 at 10:33 PM
 ever since i moved to Europe, almost every single meal i've shared
 someone, there comes a point where someone asks, 'how do you say "bon
 inenglish' and then i have
 appétit dobar tek / eet smakelijk /
 explain that this expression essentially doesn't exist in English except for
 the incredibly informal 'chow down' to which they always respond in
 mixture of horror or confusion.
 after all, 'bon appétit' comes from French and it often has an air of
 pretension or irony and 'enjoy your meal can really only be said by
 someone not participating in the meal
 or am i wrong? what English-only phrase do YOU say before a meal?
 welcome to flavortown
 bone app the teeth
 +78
 let's eat
 +71
 dig in!
 +58
 Enjoy!
 +56
 RUB A DUB DUB THANKS FOR THE
 +41
 GRUB
 We luv our bread we luv our butter but
 +38
 most of all we luv each other
 1
 0+
 Commencing operation mastication
 +31
 0+
 i wanna munch
 +29
 Bone apple tea
 +28
 ..
 Osteoporosis
 2
 +19
 G'appetite
 +16
 ---
 Ah, I greatly consuming this food, which is
 definitely not human flesh
 0+
 +16
 eat up
 +14
 17
 OM NOM NOM NOM
 +10
 0+
 i think dogs should be able to vote
 +9
 7
 2468 dig in don't wait
 AMOE
 0+
 Blonde amputee
 +8
 Help yourself
 +6
 tuck in
 +6
 time to dig in
 +6
 shallmst we nom?
 +5
 Boom map the sheets
 +4
 Bone fuck my Ray Romano BluRay
 +4
 Phone apple jeans
 +3
 eat up martha
 +3
 it's time to mönch...it's time to crönch
 +3
 M
 food
 +2
 happy masticating
 +2
muaddibbler:The most impressive communal shitpost I’ve yet seen from a linguistics Facebook group

muaddibbler:The most impressive communal shitpost I’ve yet seen from a linguistics Facebook group

Baseball, Boo, and Cute: Sammi Thursday 11:51 AM Gimme a topic and I'll come up with a witty pick up line for it Or it'll be terrible, but then you can send it to your friends and laugh about it Thursday 12:24 PM That will be perfect Ummmm cereal! Thursday 1:14 PM You must be a bowl of cheerios because you are making my heart feel better already Tuesday 9:44 AM Ah so it was terrible That was actually cute. Idk why I didn't reply Tuesday 1:00 PM Was it cause you didnt want to make awkward small talk after? BECAUSE WE CAN DO BIG TALK IF THATS YOUR THING Tuesday 10:44 PM WHY DO YOU HAVE THE CUTEST THINGS TO SAY BECAUSE CUTE PEOPLE BRING OUT THE CUTE THINGS IN ME Not gonna lie you're like my top tinder guy now. You're SO smooth Tuesday 11:02 PM I'd like to suggest limbo for a date. That way I can lower the bar and continue to exceed expectations Tuesday 11:57 PM How about a baseball game? You're making a lot of homeruns with your puns and you're a real catch. Also, yet haven't had a strikeout yet in my opinion Today 2.14 AM What about going bowling? I know we're avoiding strikes but we'll have to make an exception because you're a serious 10/10. I'd say an 11/10 for the ability to send one back my way but that'd break the scoring system Today 9:47 AM I don't mean to drive you batty with all of the date suggestions... but a haunted house may be better. The way you can come up with all of these is quite frightening. Also l'd rather be scared by the ghouls in the haunted house than being ghosted by you. Today 10:03 AM A haunted house with you would be a frighteningly good time. Fear not about ghosts, the only ghosting I intend to do is calling you "boo". Today 11:31 AM I'm dead hence why you're calling me "boo" Before you die, can I grab your number?? Today 1:44 PM :) Type a message... GIF Turning ghosting in my favor
Baseball, Boo, and Cute: Sammi
 Thursday 11:51 AM
 Gimme a topic and I'll come up with a
 witty pick up line for it
 Or it'll be terrible, but then you can send
 it to your friends and laugh about it
 Thursday 12:24 PM
 That will be perfect
 Ummmm cereal!
 Thursday 1:14 PM
 You must be a bowl of cheerios because
 you are making my heart feel better
 already
 Tuesday 9:44 AM
 Ah so it was terrible
 That was actually cute. Idk why I didn't
 reply
 Tuesday 1:00 PM
 Was it cause you didnt want to make
 awkward small talk after?
 BECAUSE WE CAN DO BIG TALK IF
 THATS YOUR THING
 Tuesday 10:44 PM
 WHY DO YOU HAVE THE CUTEST
 THINGS TO SAY
 BECAUSE CUTE PEOPLE BRING OUT
 THE CUTE THINGS IN ME
 Not gonna lie you're like my top tinder
 guy now. You're SO smooth
 Tuesday 11:02 PM
 I'd like to suggest limbo for a date. That
 way I can lower the bar and continue to
 exceed expectations
 Tuesday 11:57 PM
 How about a baseball game? You're
 making a lot of homeruns with your
 puns and you're a real catch. Also,
 yet haven't had a strikeout yet in my
 opinion
 Today 2.14 AM
 What about going bowling? I know we're
 avoiding strikes but we'll have to make
 an exception because you're a serious
 10/10. I'd say an 11/10 for the ability to
 send one back my way but that'd break
 the scoring system
 Today 9:47 AM
 I don't mean to drive you batty with
 all of the date suggestions... but a
 haunted house may be better. The
 way you can come up with all of these
 is quite frightening. Also l'd rather be
 scared by the ghouls in the haunted
 house than being ghosted by you.
 Today 10:03 AM
 A haunted house with you would be a
 frighteningly good time. Fear not about
 ghosts, the only ghosting I intend to do
 is calling you "boo".
 Today 11:31 AM
 I'm dead
 hence why you're calling
 me "boo"
 Before you die, can I grab your
 number??
 Today 1:44 PM
 :)
 Type a message...
 GIF
Turning ghosting in my favor

Turning ghosting in my favor