Question Why is Harambe on the cover? 459 After his death Harambe's life force was harvested and distilled into a potent concentrated elixir At first scientists were uncertain as to how it should be used It was stored in an underground fallout shelter in the Nevada desert for 1 year while they figured out how to best use it for the good of humanity Over the course of that year the scientists who created it began to perish under mysterious and sudden circumstances In the most terrifying of these cases one researcher for the project was found in his study still alive but barely but died a short time later Through extensive autopsy it was found that he perished due to an unknown form of radiation sickness but not before causing severe self inflicted trauma to himself A diary was found lying open on the desk but only contained the words 'D!cks out for Harambe' scrawled over and over again from cover to cover These words were also found on the walls and scratched into the desk it was later determined that he made the deep scratch marks in the desk with his fingernails A short time later a team of zoologists studying the habitat of the now endangered Armagosa southern Pocket Gopher When the team began to get sick doctors at the University of Southern Nevada discovered that they had contracted radiation poisoning Teams were sent to the site to further explore and found extremely high levels of radiation in the soil The levels were so high the special protective suits were constructed before excavation could begin Upon excavation the team discovered the fallout shelter containing Harambe's essence After a lengthy permitting and quarantine process the vault was opened and the elixir was discovered however no one nw what it was as the original research documents for the project were destroyed by the original team in their mad and sickened state The new research team recruited and charged with the task of researching the mysterious substance was compromised of top experts and professionals from around the world Their scientific backgrounds were quite varied and spannd many disciplines including but not limited to geology oceanography zoology entomology botany microbiology and molecular biology just to name a few I am the currently employed by the US Military as the lead researcher on this project In my current position my task is the oversight documentation security and ultimately the discovery of unlocking the secrets of this mysterious elixir What follows is an excerpt from my personal diary which contains portions of my official report and current understanding of the applications and ramifications of thos project see less Answer votes adam June 24 2018 See all 16 answers im just going to leave this here Meme








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found ON 2019-10-12 20:36:30 BY

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